You’re So Vain You Probably Think This Post Is About You
Many years ago when I was much younger and could stay up late, I had a night time ritual. Every night before I went to bed, I would watch at least an hour of stand-up comedy on television.
I studied comedians, got to know some of them by face and many of them by name. One night there was this new comedian performing, I don’t remember his name,1 but I remember a portion of his act.
He joked about how everyone was always in a panic to be first. First in line to get the latest gadget. First in line at the bank. First in line at the grocery store. He said: You know what? I don’t wanna be first, I wanna be next!2
Even though it was meant as a joke, I’ve never forgotten it and consider it one of my life lessons. It made me wonder why we make everything, simple things, a competition to be first? I don’t know, maybe we are inherently competitive and can’t help ourselves?
There’s a guy named Greg Packer who makes a “hobby out of attending public appearances and is known for being first in line for such occasions. He is even credited with being first in line to purchase an iPhone in 2007, 110 hours before it went on sale.” Why?
I guess we love being first. We get the attention, the bragging rights and let’s face it, sometimes it feels good being on top, but sometimes it’s an exhausting race to nowhere.
“Does being first really have the upper hand over being second or even fifth? Not necessarily. Sometimes getting the formula right matters more than doing it first.” 3
I’m learning to be content with next.
In: Just Thinking, Life · Tagged with: Being First, Competition, Self Importance
on December 12, 2008 at 2:08 am
Permalink
First! Human nature, competition….it’s the reason I don’t enjoy sports I think…
Wayne John´s last blog post..Thoughts in Time and Out of Season
on December 12, 2008 at 2:09 am
Permalink
But really I think that humans craving for being first causes many of the problems in the world. I think everyone should just kick back and relax a little. It doesn’t matter if your first or last, it matters that you try.
Wayne John´s last blog post..Thoughts in Time and Out of Season
on December 12, 2008 at 5:52 am
Permalink
I curse you Wayne John and your ability to beat me to the first spot here!
I must be old too Natural, because I know exactly what you’re talking about — the comedian who wanted to be next. He liked the anticipation of being first in line, waiting to be next. I enjoyed that too.
In all honesty I think it’s a way to validate one’s self worth. You’re competing against someone else and it’s a true measure, in that setting, to see who’s better at that task. Working on a puzzle? First one to finish is better at puzzles.
Running a race? The first one to finish is the best runner, etc. It’s a passive aggressive way of rubbing someone else’s face in the fact that you are better at that task.
I say passive aggressive because I don’t go on and on about my win, I silently revel in it.
p.s. I did think you were talking about me and my competitive nature with this post. We’re you talking about me?
cardiogirl´s last blog post..I can find that piece in three days or less
on December 12, 2008 at 7:20 am
Permalink
i’ve learned at my advanced ??age that being next is a warm place- and you can watch there all the mistakes and egos that go before you !! sk
sandy k´s last blog post..2 Albinos in Michigan- Must be Christmas Magic!!
on December 12, 2008 at 8:56 am
Permalink
I’ll take last. In sports, last usually gets half the attention as first. Sure beats the bitter defeat of being second. It’s rare to see a happy second.
Squawkfox´s last blog post..Printable Sewing Patterns: Softie Christmas Tree
on December 12, 2008 at 9:24 am
Permalink
I like sports and I’m all in for healthy competition that challenges me to be better BUT I agree with your points. This need to be first is harmful. In many things, I’d rather be last. I don’t need to be the first on my block to have the latest greatest to make me feel better about who I am as a person. Let everyone else pay the higher price, test it out, work out the bugs and I’ll sidle in when it’s improved and cheaper, and there is not line.
Karen Swim´s last blog post..The Gift of a Good Read
on December 12, 2008 at 9:32 am
Permalink
I tried to be the first to respond! DRATS!!!!
on December 12, 2008 at 9:40 am
Permalink
Crap! I wanted to be first!
Ok, I’ll settle for next. At least I was invited to the table in the first place. That’s a blessing.
This is a great lesson and one I REALLY needed to read today.
Sometimes I feel like a flounder….today, I think I’ll be a trout. *making the fish face, can you see me*
Christa´s last blog post..Brain Farts
on December 12, 2008 at 10:50 am
Permalink
I use Number one a lot…:)
robert bourne´s last blog post..Turned Inward Within
on December 12, 2008 at 11:08 am
Permalink
Great title! I agree. There’s nothing more annoying than looking forward to great blog comments only to read “First!” with no comment on the post. I’m old now too, and I don’t care if I’m first. A manager I had a number of years ago used to say that we should be on the cutting edge, but not the bleeding edge, of technology. I’m a few spaces behind the cutting edge, too.
Dot´s last blog post..How to Get Published
on December 12, 2008 at 12:54 pm
Permalink
It’s a good thing I don’t feel the need to be first with anything because I would be very disappointed in myself. I think the only thing I’ve ever had right when it came out was a Wii and that’s only because my brothers thought it was fun to wait in line for one.
Kim Woodbridge´s last blog post..Jing Screencapture for WordPress Easter Egg
on December 12, 2008 at 1:35 pm
Permalink
Yeah, I agree – it’s inherent in people to want to be first, to want to be the best, to want to win etc. I guess I’m getting old too cuz being next is fine with me!
The guy that was first to buy the iPod… in my opinion it takes way too much energy to be first. I just have different priorities I guess.
Laura-Junkfoodaholic´s last blog post..‘Tis The Season!
on December 12, 2008 at 1:39 pm
Permalink
Being #1 is the bomb, and having been that at many places, times and in many events, I can tell ya, there’s nothing better!
Numero uno rocks!
The Fitness Diva´s last blog post..Would You Know How to Help Save a Life?
on December 12, 2008 at 2:08 pm
Permalink
This is the first I’ve seen this post but I’m not the first to actually see it. Nor am I the first to comment. Am I mad at that? No, not at all.
I’m more concerned with being right than first. But I don’t mind being next for next after next. But first isn’t always ideal. I prefer to see how they did it so perhaps I can do it better. After all, it isn’t who does it first but who does it best.
Urban Thought´s last blog post..Dating
on December 12, 2008 at 2:16 pm
Permalink
Sometimes I have wished that I had gotten to someplace first. When someone in front of me in the check out line that has a chain of shopping carts running over, with 18 registers and only 1 open, I have felt some frustration. But, then it is also nice to to have the feeling of being next, especially, when that person lets me go to in front of them. But to be the first to buy something is not always the best. That is because product testing does not always stop with the research and development department; sometimes the public has to suffer the results of being among those who are the first to buy a product that is defective and needs to be recalled or cannot be replaced. And sometimes people die as the result of poor planning in R&D. I once heard that it is good to learn from your mistakes, but it is better to learn from the mistakes of others.
on December 12, 2008 at 3:38 pm
Permalink
The only time I like to be first is at sports competition. Like that comedian, I’d rather be next. I specially don’t want to be the first one when it comes to attaining that heavenly feeling during love making.
Chris´s last blog post..I Shall Return
on December 12, 2008 at 3:46 pm
Permalink
I’m next!
I think that it’s much better to be better at something than to be the first to do it. Sure, you do get bragging rights and if you’re smart about it, patent royalties. However, being better will give you such a competitive edge over being the first that you might not mind paying a few extra bucks for the patents and such.
What I’m trying to say is that it’s better to be in the lead than it is to be first.
TheAndySan´s last blog post..We Need Jobs & To Present Value To The World
on December 12, 2008 at 4:57 pm
Permalink
I have never felt the need to be first – hell, I’d rather let someone else take the dive and tell me how it went before I do it myself.
That is kind of a good and bad thing, I guess.
Matthew Dryden´s last blog post..Leave a Message After the Tone
on December 12, 2008 at 6:01 pm
Permalink
Never heard of Greg Packer before, interesting. I’m like you Natural, I was much more competitive in my youth
No, seriously, pick one or two things you want to be first in and for everything else “next” is fine.
on December 12, 2008 at 6:54 pm
Permalink
I don’t care about being first. I’m just as vain as anyone if not more so, but “getting there first” never had much appeal for me.
on December 12, 2008 at 7:56 pm
Permalink
Usually I don’t want to be first. Depending on what it is for, I just don’t want the attention! Being next sounds good
By the way I love the idea of watching so much comedy! Surely doing that every day must extend your lifespan by a couple of decades with all that laughter??
Penny´s last blog post..The Ultimate Christmas Playlist/ Party – Need Advice!
on December 12, 2008 at 7:57 pm
Permalink
Oh…. I actually HATE to be first for anything. I am lazy like that!
meleah rebeccah´s last blog post..Friday Funnies: CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS
on December 12, 2008 at 8:35 pm
Permalink
I like to be first in a race for something, but if I’m not, I don’t worry about it. There are far more important things in life than being first at things.
Babs – beetle´s last blog post..Would you like to mess up a Christmas Carol?
on December 12, 2008 at 11:35 pm
Permalink
I think they just want to be able to say I was the first one to get one of whatever it is they’re trying to get.
I’m like you and content with being next. I see those people line up to spend their money and all I can do is shake my head. It makes no sense to me. Even in college, kids would camp outside the coliseum for basketball tickets. I was content with being in the nosebleed section. I have better things to do with my time like sleep in my nice comfy bed and use my own bathroom. Which raises a whole set of questions for me now about these people who camp out for days
Tamika´s last blog post..Senseless
on December 13, 2008 at 12:01 am
Permalink
I’m with you on this one, I don’t need to be first…if it’s my time, I’ll take it, but being last is ok too-whatever spot, you’re in it because you’re supposed to be.
Thanks for sharing,
Leslie
Leslie´s last blog post..I am an Angel…
on December 13, 2008 at 12:25 am
Permalink
Wayne John, ah ha. First. I was going to comment on my own post and say “First, you can be next” for whoever commented next. Some people take games too seriously and it sucks the fun of it to me. I don’t like to play with highly competitive people myself. It creates a lot of problems, jealousy, hate..think Tonya Harding.
CardioGirl, lol. I think there’s a difference in wanting to do well and wanting to be first all the time. I like being first sometimes, but everything is not a competition. We should be glad about our accomplishments, minus the ego? Your competitiveness is cute, I just can’t play with you.
Sandy K, next is cool, almost the same as first. It’s not about the position, but how you work the position you are in.
Squawkfox, I could be a happy second, a happy last, uh, not sure. Maybe 2nd is so close to first and third is didn’t have a chance anyway? Hmmm.
Karen Swim, healthy competition! We’re all competitive, but when we look for others to fail so we can be first, that’s when it becomes harmful.
Max, did you really try? Next.
Christa, you have an open invitation. Oh I have to remind myself of this from time to time. It’s easy to get caught up over nothing.
Robert, not you Mr. Bourne.
Dot, it took me a minute to figure out why people said first when commenting and it took me a second to duplicate it. I did it once as a joke, but I left a comment. There are plenty of blogs we can be first on.
Kim, ooh you have a Wii. I should have one by the end of this year. I won’t stand in line for anything I have to buy but groceries. Well you know what I mean….
Laura, I guess being first brings recognition, but being know for the first to get an iPhone, a real help to mankind.
The Fitness Diva, well if I had your body, I might think differently. Well of course if you’re in a competition, you want to come in first…the fruits of your labor.
Urban Thought, lol, that’s another one, being right all the time.
Raquel, sometimes being second is a blessing. Sometimes when people rush in front of me, I always imagine something falling out of the sky and well, knocking them on their head for being so pushy…then I think how glad I was that I didn’t press the issue of being in front. Don’t tell anyone, ‘k?
Chris, hey there guy! Is that where you’ve been, trying not to come in first. Well then you are excused sir.
TheAndySan, not sure if you watch American Idol, but many of the people that came in 4 or 5th are doing better than the person that came in first.
Matthew, well if it’s about someone taking a dive, literally, I’d let them go first. : )
Marelisa, I never heard of Greg Packer either, just found him during the research. Yeah, one or two things well and let the rest go.
Vered, lol..we all have a little vainness (is that a word) in us. I don’t want to get there first either…well not with everything.
Penny, if it’s something of substance, first is good, it’s just when it lapses over into everything we do that it becomes tiresome. I’m trying to pull back myself with some things.
I need to get my laugh on. I don’t watch tv much now, but listen to comedy radio. I did watch MAD tv today, very funny!
Meleah, I used to be first on your blog, only because I was up early and it just worked itself out that way…I know the early posters.
Babs, true, true. Being first in a race make sense, but not making a race out of everything.
Tamika, as if with some things being first matters. It doesn’t always, sometimes it’s more “so what” than “wow”.
Leslie, nope..sometimes I take my time so I’m not first.
on December 13, 2008 at 1:04 am
Permalink
Hi Valerie. I was first-born. After that it doesn’t matter much. I’d just rather be right!
Davina´s last blog post..Future Self Meditation Invites Guidance
on December 13, 2008 at 7:38 am
Permalink
I often end up being first for things, and it is really annoying (I don’t mean sports or competitions – I can’t stand them). I find I have to hang back so I don’t end up being first (again)
Robin´s last blog post..Festival Of Life
on December 13, 2008 at 8:15 am
Permalink
You make a great point – sometimes first comes with a price, and is that price really worth coming in first? Often, no. The idea of doing things “right” is a great example of this. Doing it “right” is often better than coming in first (but not having something “right”). Very nice article!
Lance´s last blog post..Kindness Comes In Small Gestures
on December 13, 2008 at 11:33 am
Permalink
Love your blog. Thanks for visiting Soup2Nuts. As far as being first, never much cared, especially if a mob is involved. Don’t know how people stand it actually.
May Your Glass Always Be Half Full
Maxi Malone´s last blog post..Has Caylee Come Home??
on December 13, 2008 at 6:09 pm
Permalink
hi Valerie,
I remember when I used to be able to stay up late. Now I’m the fuddy-duddy that mutters “early to bed, early to rise…”
I can think of one example where I’ve been taught it’s not good to be first in line… when you’re in a group of speeding cars on the freeway (I’m not admitting anything!), the conventional wisdom is the first car gets the radar-gun ticket.
~ Steve, the fuddy-duddy trade show guru
Steve | Trade Show Guru´s last blog post..Trade Show Secrets
on December 13, 2008 at 6:42 pm
Permalink
I’ve long been content with being next. People also seem to have a preference for the closest, possible parking spot, too (another bandwagon I’ve jumped off long ago.) These kinds of things just add to the stress of already stressful lives. People need to learn to relax, & these 2 things are an easy place to start.
(BTW, you still interested in that photo? I haven’t rec’d anything in the mail yet.)
Lana´s last blog post..Hike at Northlake
on December 13, 2008 at 10:34 pm
Permalink
Yeah…I know, I loved when you used to be first. You just don’t love me like you used to.
PS: I still LIVE for really good stand up comedy.
xoxoxox
meleah rebeccah´s last blog post..Pink Eye
on December 14, 2008 at 1:17 am
Permalink
I loved this post. I think many do love and crave that attention of being first. But I agree that sometimes it is “an exhausting race to nowhere.” I’ve been fairly competitive for most of my life. Now I’m trying to hard to be content with next as well.
Momisodes´s last blog post..PH: Favorite
on December 14, 2008 at 4:54 am
Permalink
I was never competitive. That has been my downfall academically growing up. I just didn’t care. I didnt even complete college because I didnt care and hated the competitive “I’m smarter than thou” nature of it. I rather read and study independently without rubbing elbows with others. I avoided competition in every way. Even as an adult, being first, best, or the most “anything” never appealed to me. Maybe I’m the other extreme.
Carla´s last blog post..Deep Steep Travel and Gift Sets | Under $20
on December 14, 2008 at 1:17 pm
Permalink
I’m certainly not first on this post. And this post IS about me. I too can’t stay up like the big kids anymore and stand up comedy on comedy central was the reason I stayed up. I saw that skit too, it was good. I would rather be good at what I do than first at what I do. sometimes being first makes a difference but not usually.
Dee Langdon – BloggerNewbie´s last blog post..Do All Parent’s Want A “Do Over”?
on December 14, 2008 at 2:59 pm
Permalink
oh yeah…I wonder…How come I CAN still stay up late? I think there must be something way off with my internal clock!
meleah rebeccah´s last blog post..Dear Santa,
on December 14, 2008 at 11:05 pm
Permalink
This post struck a cord with me because in school I liked to be one of the first people to present my paper or work or idea. That way I was always given the benefit of the doubt and given kudos for going first and taking the risk. Most other parts of my life I do not like to go first, I like to see what others are doing so that I can work on my creativity and present something in a new light.
I did wish to get a first place in singing competitions, but I so loved singing it did not truly matter.
I am a last born in my family, so I am always bringing up the tail end or everyone else is done by the time I get there – I learned to be quiet and not noticed most of the time, because being last all of the time got old. Being different was better.
Thank you for this good idea and nice post.
Patricia´s last blog post..People Are Often Unreasonable
on December 15, 2008 at 5:30 am
Permalink
I came to the conclusion a few years back, that I will ALWAYS pick the slowest line at the store. No matter what I do, I’ll be in the wrong line. Now, I don’t even try. I content myself with that fact and have a much more relaxing day.
Cromely´s last blog post..Snow in Seattle
on December 15, 2008 at 9:41 am
Permalink
I guess at an early age I was wired to always chase to be first. I’d much rather save my time and effort to selectively do so only when it matters, and for other times, follow the same path you described and simply strive for “next”.
Al at 7P´s last blog post..533,000 Is Too Much
on December 15, 2008 at 9:47 am
Permalink
notice nobody ever shouts out FIRST but they always shout out NEXT
on December 15, 2008 at 10:23 am
Permalink
I’ve kind of always liked for someone else to “test” things out before I jump in. So, I guess being first has never really been an issue for me…
roschelle´s last blog post..WTF! Bush bars Obamas from Blair House
on December 15, 2008 at 4:28 pm
Permalink
There’s a saying that goes along the lines of “Fools boldly go where angels fear to tread”. There’s a lot to be said for being “next” instead of first. This from someone who is always pushing to the front of the line only to learn it’s called the “bleeding edge” for a reason!!!
Kathy @ Virtual Impax´s last blog post..Does your small business need to invest in yellow page advertising?
on December 15, 2008 at 6:11 pm
Permalink
I can only say that it is how we are as humans. It’s part of our genetic makeup. We always want to be on top or be first. Only thing I’m glad is that I’m not a type A person or it would be worst!
on December 16, 2008 at 9:07 am
Permalink
I wanted to be first at primary school. Always A+ on math tests and when I went to high school I noticed it doesn’t matter. I know I’m better than anyone else studying 15 minutes to pass exam with B mark. What’s the purpose of learning 48h before exam to have a 1 grade better – nonsense for me!
Cookie´s last blog post..How to make eating disorders and excess weight past history fast and easy
on December 16, 2008 at 10:33 am
Permalink
Ha – reminds me of that youtube video about the guy who always posts ‘first!’
Just tonight I found myself walking briskly into the cinema because I didn’t want anyone passing me to get a better seat… doh!
Ross´s last blog post..Six random things to feast on
on December 16, 2008 at 3:37 pm
Permalink
This is a great post! Sometimes we look that most important fact. That instead of rushing through our projects/experiments/whatever to be first, it should be that we work hard to make that work count and do it right. Slow down people! Produce quality over quantity. Just my 0.02!
on December 16, 2008 at 4:34 pm
Permalink
If I just happen to be first at something, I’m usually rather pleased, but I’m not competitive enough to want to try. I like the Ben Tracy quote.
JD at I Do Things´s last blog post..I Faked a Concussion so you don’t have to
on December 16, 2008 at 7:31 pm
Permalink
Do it right! If that is 1st, 5th or tenth…so be it!
on December 17, 2008 at 12:12 am
Permalink
Hi Natural – I’ve never been one who had to be first. If it’s new gizmos or gadgets, I’d rather wait until all the bugs are worked out and the price comes down. Too often I’ve had others brag about how they have this or that and they paid $x.xx, only to have a new version come out a month or two later and the other one is obsolete.
Barbara Swafford – Blogging Without A Blog´s last blog post..NBOTW – It’s More Than A Funhouse