When Is It (or is it ever) Okay To Lie?

I saw this question on Plinky a few months ago and immediately I thought, it’s never okay to lie, but is that the truth? Is honesty always the best policy? I was reading a couple of blog posts on honesty and perjury and the majority of people who commented agreed that honesty is the best policy and under no circumstance would they tell a lie.

Uh huh. I’ll tell you why I don’t believe this and I think people lie more often than they are willing to admit or even realize.

In the book The Day America Told the Truth, by James Patterson and Peter Kim it stated that “91 percent of Americans lie regularly. The majority of us find it hard to get through a week without lying and one in five can’t make it through a single day without bending the truth.”

Ninety-one percent! I don’t find that statistic surprising at all. It’s not always easy to know how one will react when the pressure is on.  We lie to be polite, we lie to impress, we lie to avoid punishment, we lie to flatter, but not all lies are meant to be harmful. I believe people lie more often than they realize because white lies, i.e. the Stork, Santa Clause, the Tooth Fairy, etc. are socially acceptable, whereas bald-faced lies1 are not. White lies may appear to be harmless, but they are still lies, right?

Then there’s the lie by omission, we only tell half the truth. We omit certain facts, details or information leading someone to believe one thing when we know another to be true. Lying, even on a small scale, seems unavoidable.

We lie to our friends, we lie to strangers, we lie to our employer, we lie to ourselves and what did surprise me during my research for this post is that the majority of people we lie to are the ones we love the most.  That’s sad, but I understand why that may be true.

I’m no beacon of truth, just in case you’re wondering. I have told lies I’m not particularly proud of, but I still consider myself a trustworthy person.  Is it possible to be 100% honest all of the time, I say no, but there are ways to tactfully tell the truth, and without hurting someone’s feelings.  I travel on this road as often as possible.  While I don’t believe that most people are practice liars, I do believe a majority of people engage in some type of lying, daily, unless you happen to be George Costanza, then it’s not a lie if you believe it.

Is lying is the social lubricant that sustains a civil society or does “lying corrode trust and intimacy—the glue of a civil society?”2

Your thoughts?

  1. or bold/bare faced lies []
  2. Livescience.com []
Posted on September 17, 2009 at 12:01 am by Natural · Permalink
In: Just Thinking · Tagged with: , ,

39 Responses

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  1. Written by cardiogirl
    on September 17, 2009 at 3:47 am
    Permalink

    YES! I am finally first! Sweep the Leg!

    That’s one of my favorite lines from Seinfeld because I love George’s delivery:

    “…it’s not a lie if you believe it.

    Alright, back to the point. I’m positive I engage in white lies and lies by omission. Positive. Now how often does that happen? I seriously don’t have much contact with the outside world so I don’t really get a chance to lie.

    I would guess 20% of the time I give a white lie or leave something out.

    It’s been a really long time, I think, since I’ve told a honest-to-goodness all out lie.

    Now when it comes to perjury I really think I am unable to lie. My face and body language totally give me away. And sitting there before the judge would make it impossible for me to lie with confidence.

    Even in a regular situation I find it really difficult to give a full-on lie. I think that’s my Catholic guilt at play.

    I don’t think this is a great excuse — if you want to get into a strictly right or wrong discussion — but as you said I engage in a bit of lying when I think the truth will really hurt another person. Is that wrong?

    Probably.

    I would love to somehow wear a device for 24-hours that recorded every lie I told just to see how often I did it. Wouldn’t that be crazy if it turned out I actually lie 78% of the time even though I thought it was more like 20%.

    As usual, this falls into the gray area and relies heavily on intent. Gah, I hate the gray areas of life.

    sweep the leg, sweep the rug, dust the furniture. oh my. hold on…..okay. clears throat.

    i love that costanza line too. i’m not an advocate of lying, but sorry, i believe everyone does it, especially when it comes to getting out of stuff we don’t want to do. maybe white lies are being petty, but does the color of the lie matter? nope. what’s my point here? i don’t know, but just for today, i’m going to listen carefully to everything i say or everything i don’t say and count. this might not mean anything though, because i can go an entire day without conversing with anyone, but the locals.

    cardiogirl´s last blog ..I’m an international phone call away from being a multi-millionaire My ComLuv Profile

  2. Written by sandy
    on September 17, 2009 at 7:59 am
    Permalink

    Since I fel it in the old gut and it causes discomfort, I say never lie..a peaceful stomach is what I like .sk

    good advice sandy, i’m sure lying takes a toll on one’s health.

    sandy´s last blog ..Thursday 13 – 13 pictures pictures I saw this past week and thoughts they created My ComLuv Profile

  3. Written by Jeanne
    on September 17, 2009 at 9:17 am
    Permalink

    You’re making me THINK. Ouch, it hurts! Before I grab my Excedrin bottle, I’ll have to jump in and admit I lie, sometimes like a rug, and it has nothing to do with the other person and everything to do with me. Because —

    I HATE arguing, I hate confrontation, I hate loud noises and I love peace and quiet. So when someone expresses an opinion contrary to mine, I generally smile and say something totally noncommital, — my avoidance strategy, which often gives the other person the mistaken idea that I’m agreeing, just without actually saying so.

    Maybe this is my biggest character flaw, and until I read this post I hadn’t given it a thought. Bad You! But I’m still glad you’re back!

    hello again jeanne! it does hurt to think, doesn’t it? i understand how you feel, especially when that opinion comes off as fact. always something to say or dispute..i know someone like that. sometimes it’s just easier to keep quiet and let them think whatever.

    Jeanne´s last blog ..A Fairy Tale? My ComLuv Profile

  4. Written by Jeanne
    on September 17, 2009 at 9:36 am
    Permalink

    oops, thought I corrected my typo: I don’t LIKE, sometimes like a rug. I LIE, sometimes like a rug :)

    i am the TYOP QUEEN! you can like sometimes like a rug here, but if you want me to fix it, i can do that too. i do love this comment editing plug-in though, it should be standard in WP.

    Jeanne´s last blog ..A Fairy Tale? My ComLuv Profile

  5. Written by Akirah
    on September 17, 2009 at 9:49 am
    Permalink

    Hm. I don’t ever think it’s okay to lie. I think that view is based off of my faith. But I will admit that sometimes it looks like telling a lie is the best alternative. And I certainly have lied before. I always feel awful after I lie though. That in and of itself is enough motivation for me to try my HARDEST not to lie.

    faith or religion will do that to you or should make us better people. it’s probably never the best alternative, not in the long run. a temporary fix, yes, but we will get caught, eventually.

    Akirah´s last blog ..Friendship Love My ComLuv Profile

  6. Written by The Mother
    on September 17, 2009 at 8:01 pm
    Permalink

    One of the most interesting characters on television is a guy who simply always tells the truth (Lie to Me–great show).

    It’s amazing how much trouble he gets himself into.

    Social lies are expected. Simple truth.

    hey the mother, that sounds like an interesting show. now i have to try to find it on the tv. sounds funny actually.

    i hate to say it, but social lies are expected. sometimes it promotes peace. i’ve been listening extra careful to myself the last few days and so far i haven’t said anything colorful and that’s the truth. ;)

    The Mother´s last blog ..Why I Love Homeschooling My ComLuv Profile

  7. Written by Ron
    on September 17, 2009 at 10:56 pm
    Permalink

    Excellent topic, Valerie!

    Very well thought out and expressed!

    Well….I do sometimes lie (I’d be lying if I said otherwise) – HA!

    Like some of the reasons you’ve shared here, I’ve lied to avoid hurting someones feelings, I’ve also lied to get out of doing something, I’ve lied to flatter, and I’ve lied to avoid being punished.

    To me a lie is a lie, regardless of why I lie.

    But, I have also found that there are some people who don’t want to hear the truth. They may ask for your honest opinion, but I know they really don’t want to hear it. They only want to hear what they want to hear. I use to be someone who told them the truth regardless of whether they wanted to hear it or not, but eventually found that telling the truth was pointless. So now I don’t say anything.

    Like Akirah has shared, I think it’s much better to always tell the truth, but for me I don’t think that’s humanly possible.

    I guess it would be nice to say that I have never or will never lie, but I have and most likely will.

    Great post, Val!

    hey ron, awh thanks. i really hate that i feel this way, but i think everyone lies (except you mom, beacon of truth sister, beacon of truth) or withholds information that they probably should disclose or either they come up with a somewhat truthful story to get out of doing something. it’s always better to tell the truth, but then you have to sometimes find a way to do so tactfully and that’s just as much work as lying.

    Ron´s last blog ..Need Room For Cream? My ComLuv Profile

  8. Written by vered - blogger for hire
    on September 18, 2009 at 12:01 am
    Permalink

    People lie. It’s what we do. We do it for many reasons, many of them valid, sometimes even noble. As long as you don’t cheat people out of their life savings… I think it’s harmless and part of human nature.

    again, i feel bad, but you’re right. well cheating is lying too…like bernie madoff, who made off with millions. of course he lied.

  9. Written by Jaky Astik
    on September 18, 2009 at 5:20 am
    Permalink

    To say, I never lie to anyone. That’s it!

    jaky, not even a little bit? :)

    Jaky Astik´s last blog ..Only two reasons why people lack behind? My ComLuv Profile

  10. Written by Lana
    on September 18, 2009 at 1:26 pm
    Permalink

    Unfortunately I have to lie at work. Because my patrons bring up religion & politics & my view is VERY different to those where I live, if I didn’t lie about it, there’d probably be complaints to the director of the company & voila! There goes my job. :(

    well you could use your views to get on people’s nerves. sometimes i’m just in that kind of mood. i know i’m way to the left and they just have to deal with it, or not. everyone is entitled to their opinion and you shouldn’t have to lie to voice yours, but if you do so to keep the peace and your job, i understand.

    Lana´s last blog ..American Goldfinch My ComLuv Profile

  11. Written by Mike Masters
    on September 18, 2009 at 8:27 pm
    Permalink

    I like to think I never lie but I was caught in an intentional one recently. While explaining to someone I was casually dating that I was involved with someone else I fudged on the dates. I didn’t feel good about this but I felt there was no reason to let her know how close things got, just unnecessary pain.
    Why even tell her in the first place? It was unspoken that we were involved with others people and there was a chance she would find out from other people.
    Unfortunately after telling her she decided to dig and the dates came out. I was a lying bastard.
    Would I do it again? Yes, this was not her business and it was a gamble I was willing to take to preserve her feelings.

    well you did what you thought was necessary and since you say you would do it all over again, i guess that was the right choice for you. it’s the getting busted that sucks though right. all naked and exposed.

    Mike Masters´s last blog ..I broke up with him but he still wont change! My ComLuv Profile

  12. Written by Norman Rockwell Art
    on September 18, 2009 at 10:32 pm
    Permalink

    I will lie to protect someone’s feelings from getting hurt. I also expect the same consideration in return. Consideration is never wrong.

    As far as the whole truth, what I disclose of my personal, private business is entirely up to me. I owe an explanation or confession to no one.

    As far as perjury, I have no intention of commercially injuring another party with a lie under oath or on affidavit. There is nothing to gain and everything to be lost in such a scenario.

    Very, very thought-provoking post!

    norman, you make a great point, not everyone is entitled to know the absolute truth about everything. it simply is not their freaking business.

    we don’t always want to hear the truth, especially if one doesn’t know how to deliver it tactfully. the truth hurts. deep down, i think we all know what is truth – we can’t fool ourselves, right? we just don’t want to hear it.

    Norman Rockwell Art´s last blog ..Sep 15, Norman Rockwell Christmas Items Make The Holidays Special My ComLuv Profile

  13. Written by Debo Hobo
    on September 19, 2009 at 10:19 am
    Permalink

    I am not a skilled liar, I don’t even like the word. I prefer to use the term fibber. LOL :) I’ve tried to lie but it immediately shows on my face and then not only have I lied but now I look like an ass.

    I do bend the truth on occasion to diffuse a situation or the ease another person’s angst. But I prefer to tell the truth it just keeps things clean and un-messy.

    Knowing that lying is such an epidemic it has change the way I interact with others, I find that I am not that trusting of their words and rely primarily on their actions. Which can be trying on relationships.

    i don’t like the word liar either, seems so harsh. i think everyone bends the truth, again, i feel bad for thinking this, but doing so probably keeps the peace and relationships in tact.

    Debo Hobo´s last blog ..Get Your Gotcha Training! Rowan & Martin My ComLuv Profile

  14. Written by Margo
    on September 19, 2009 at 5:05 pm
    Permalink

    I have a history of lying. I blame the fact that I’m a fiction writer and a story teller who has always abided by the concept of “don’t let the truth get in the way of a good story.” When I was younger my imagination was the truth, and I would get into trouble and learned as I matured to sort out truth from fiction. I’m pretty sure all kids lie and that’s why I always have assumed it, call them on it, but never been too judgy about it in my own children (as long as the lies are about something stupid and don’t convict someone else of anything that’s a big deal) I don’t want them to know right from wrong and not lie, but I feel being humble and truthful about their own humaneness is just as important – a kid lying doesn’t make them “bad.” I think lying is unacceptable when people use it as a way to manage one’s life and think that’s okay – it’s a slippery slope – and it’s best to avoid these people.

    laughing @ don’t let the truth get in the way of a good story. kids learn to lie early on. it doesn’t have to be taught either. it’s not a nice thing, i don’t encourage it, but it happens. don’t make it a practice, i say.

    Margo´s last blog ..Glamorous Delusions of the Allergically Challenged My ComLuv Profile

  15. Written by Margo
    on September 19, 2009 at 5:09 pm
    Permalink

    make that “I DO want them to know right from wrong and not lie”!

    gotcha!

    Margo´s last blog ..Glamorous Delusions of the Allergically Challenged My ComLuv Profile

  16. Written by Cath Lawson
    on September 20, 2009 at 5:49 am
    Permalink

    Hi Valerie – I have a friend who constantly lies by omission but he won’t have it that it is still lying. But it is.

    I try to avoid lying as much as possible. But it is hard to answer truthfully to questions like – “Can you tell I’ve gained 40 lbs? this month?” “Does this spot look hideous?” etc etc.

    Also – when people ask personal questions I don’t want to answer, sometimes I lie, because it seems less offensive than saying “mind your own business”.

    that’s a tricky one…about the weight. tell ya something, how i get out of answering, but i’m only telling cath, so everyone look away. answer a question with a question. can you tell i’ve gained 40 lbs? why do you ask, do you feel like you’ve gained 40 lbs. hopefully they will go on about themselves and you won’t have to answer. the super sharp will know i have avoided answering directly, but in reality, i have answered tactfully. or either i’m just evil.

    again, not everyone has the right to know personal business. again, answer their question w/a question. why do you ask? why do you need to know? put them on the spot, let them talk, ask them the same question.

  17. Written by Penny
    on September 20, 2009 at 1:30 pm
    Permalink

    Firstly, I like your last post. makes me feel a bit better about hardly ever blogging too :D But no, we don’t want to end up in the blogging graveyard.

    Secondly, this is an interesting post. From time to time this thought pops up in my head. I kind of think ‘aren’t we all liars?!’ and that somehow it makes us all evil. Yes this is just a fleeting thought. But interesting when we think about it a little more. I lie, I never tell big lies and can’t really think of a time I ever have. But I often lie simply to make things easy on myself. Don’t want to talk much about a topic? Small white lie stops the conversation.

    I guess that’s similar to the commenter above. I don’t necessarily think it’s right at all. It’s just a weird thing I do.

    hey penny, time goes by fast when you’re blogging, doesn’t it. i need to go look for those posts i wrote anyway. i would like to be a little more regular. we’ll see.

    anyway. i think we all stretch the truth a bit to the left eye of scrutiny. if we examined some of the things we say, lots of times, we’ll find out everything is not the whole truth. i just want to see someone be invited somewhere they don’t want to go and watch them wiggle out of that with a truth. their kid will be sick first, or like marcia brady, something suddenly came up. uh huh.
    Penny´s last blog ..A Safe Distance My ComLuv Profile

  18. Written by Robin
    on September 21, 2009 at 7:31 am
    Permalink

    Hi there Val – I might get all philosophical here and say that expressing the “truth” may not always be the same as not “lying” – when we say something not quite true to protect someone’s feelings, we are conveying a truth that we empathise with them? Apart from that, I’ll bend the facts now and then if I think the outcome will be best that way – but I am also a stickler for being totally honest, in many situations. It’s pouring rain here at tonight! (and that’s the truth)

    i guess it depends on what is being talked about. with some things, there is NO room for bending the truth. with other things, i guess we could dance around the truth to protect someone’s feelings. say the wrong thing and a person’s spirit can be crushed.

    Robin´s last blog ..When Someone Close To Us Is Struggling My ComLuv Profile

  19. Written by Andrew
    on September 21, 2009 at 9:02 am
    Permalink

    Natural,

    A very interesting topic.

    Unfortunately, I feel that it lying appears to be part of human nature, and like the vast majority of us, I would certainly not be telling the truth if I claimed to have never lied myself.

    Whether or not the practice of lying is entirely a bad thing – I don’t think that’s a question which I can answer for certain. However, I would say that the saying of ‘honesty is the best policy’ represents sound advice in the majority of circumstances, both from a viewpoint of individual personal integrity and also from a viewpoint of broader social cohesion as a whole.

    I love your point about telling the truth in a sensitive manner, and I certainly feel that telling the truth does not mean that you have to speak in a manner which is not constructive or sensitive to the feelings of others.

    Let me give you an example. During my time teaching English in Korea, there was one particular occasion during which one particular teacher ask another (who was my ‘co-teacher’ the main English teacher at the school and thereby my main point of contact with regard to school administrative matters) how she liked working with me. My co-teacher (whom I personally found very difficult to work with) responded that she ‘hated’ working with me. In addition, in response to a question about my Korean language ability, my co-teacher responded that I spoke Korean very poorly.

    (Note: This entire conversation took place in Korean, not English, which therefore meant that my co-teacher had assumed (erroneously) that I had not understood anything about what she was saying)

    In the above situation, my co-teacher could have answered the question with the same amount of honesty and forthrightness but in a manner was was a great deal more constructive and not unduly offensive toward me – such as saying that she found working with me to be a little challenging because I was a foreigner.

    Instead her response was utterly offensive and simply downright rude.

    The bottom line – in telling the truth, it is possible to do so in a manner which is forthright and honest but also constructive and without causing undue offense.

    yikes andrew that was rude. i’m not about hurting people’s feelings on purpose, i always feel bad afterward if for some reason i was rude. i apologize later. it’s possible to give an honest answer without being rude or another way to handle something like this would to highlight the good first then throw your but….. in there. i dislike people who only see what’s wrong. sum ting wong with them.

    Andrew´s last blog ..Back home/back online! My ComLuv Profile

  20. Written by THE GUYS
    on September 21, 2009 at 9:52 am
    Permalink

    Anyone that says they don’t lie or never have lied…..is lying. Is just that these people define lying differently.

    Example: If you’re a parent, teacher or deal with kids at all does, this sound familiar:
    “Wow, what a great picture you drew.” (scribble)
    “That outfit looks so nice.” (5 different colors that don’t match)
    “You played great.” (Struck out 4 times)

    We love our kids so we lie. Sure we think they’re great no matter what, but a little embellishment to build their self-esteem is a necessary and GOOD thing!

    i agree. i think everyone has said something untruthful.

    and you just can’t tell your kid their finger painting looks like garbage….better find something encouraging to say. it builds self-esteem.

    THE GUYS´s last blog ..HOT or NOT? My ComLuv Profile

  21. Written by ettarose
    on September 21, 2009 at 10:15 am
    Permalink

    Great post! A real eye opener. I think what people need to think about is WHY they lie. Do you think telling the truth ALL the time is good? I wonder how it would be if we always told nothing but the truth. “Yes honey, those pants do make your butt look huge.” ” no sweety, that picture really is not that great. ” There are kinds of lies we say to not hurt someone’s feelings. Is this wrong? I don’t know, but in one area I do not lie and that is at work. I truly would rather own up to something than look like a complete fool when someone else tells. No, if I have done something wrong I’ll be the one to tell.

    sadly, i think telling the absolute truth would result in a civil war. i never ask people questions about my appearance, i just don’t want an honest answer. i know if i look fat in a pair of jeans. i can feel the life being sucked out of me actually. i don’t need to confirm this a third time. why do people ask these types of questions anyway.

    ettarose´s last blog ..But Officer, I Have To Check Facebook! My ComLuv Profile

  22. Written by Dot
    on September 21, 2009 at 11:21 am
    Permalink

    I don’t think we can make absolute laws for a life so filled with opposites. I don’t think people can get or keep a job without lying. Can anyone sit there in a job interview and honestly say they hate working and wish they weren’t tied to a paycheck at all? Can they tell their boss or whoever that they have no respect for them (if they have none)?

    These are the lies that are necessary for survival. Then there are the lies that protect people’s feelings. I do agree, though, that the closer the relationship, the less room for dishonesty, or vice versa, the more dishonesty, the less possibility for closeness.

    dot, i guess you can’t say those things on an interview. not if you want the job. you have to fake the funk and come up with something pretty to say that will tickle their ears. nobody wants the truth, at least not absolute truth, i feel like jack, you can’t handle the truth. it would just come across so rude sometimes, a lie is all flowered and peppered with goodness. but still wrong. not advocating here, just speaking the truth.

    Dot´s last blog ..Comment on Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes by Jannie Funster My ComLuv Profile

  23. Written by Jannie Funster
    on September 22, 2009 at 11:21 pm
    Permalink

    I’m a total liar, but not anymore about things that really count, if that makes any sense.

    Used to lie to cover up my vast perceived inadequacies. Used to lie like a bastard. Shop-lifted too many any moons ago. Was not a happy person.

    Total TMI — ain’t blogging great!

    Top things I most often bend the truth about these days…

    1. The whole Santa, Tooth Fairy, Easter Bunny thing you mention.
    2. To myself about facing my fears, justify my procrastination.
    3. How much cream I’m really putting in my coffee. (A lot!)

    hey jannie, it makes sense, i get it. well it’s good to throw in a little TMI, keeps people awake. :) i’m sure we have all fudged on the truth. even just a little. oh and i take my coffee half and half. half cream, half coffee. it tastes great that way, right?

    Jannie Funster´s last blog ..Jannie Funster Blog Hits The Big Oh-1! My ComLuv Profile

  24. Written by Walter
    on September 23, 2009 at 2:48 am
    Permalink

    Lying is oftentimes necessary for a sound relationship with others, so long as it does no harm. Nobody is exempted from lying and one of the most harmful is lying to ourselves.

    We, more often than not, lie about our imperfections. :-)

    walter, hello and good morning. welcome to my blog. always nice to see a new face. well personally, i wouldn’t say lying is necessary for a sound relationship, nobody likes or expects to be lied to on purpose, but it happens. usually it’s done to protect the other person’s feelings and heck even sometimes to protect oneself. i’m very forgiving, but that doesn’t mean i would tolerate a relationship built on lies, the foundation is weak and we all know what will happen over time. if i know the person well enough, they don’t have to say much, i already know when the truth doesn’t add up. i think we all know deep down and then we get into the lies we tell ourselves, or denial, to cope.

    thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts.

  25. Written by Jannie Funster
    on September 24, 2009 at 5:45 pm
    Permalink

    Do you RELALY take that much cream? Seriously?

    i cannot tell a lie, oh hold on yes, i can, but i won’t. it’s more like 1/4 of a cup of cream (yeah that’s better), but enough for peeps to ask if i would like coffee with my cream. more than average i would say, but not literally half a cup. we still friends? :)

    Jannie Funster´s last blog ..Jannie Funster Blog Hits The Big Oh-1! My ComLuv Profile

  26. Written by Ricardo
    on September 25, 2009 at 5:45 pm
    Permalink

    All valid points and no, sometimes honesty is not always the best policy which sounds awful but what if your life is on the line? There are such stories of this happening. Are they bad for doing that? Oskar Schindler lied A LOT to the Nazis and saved many lives.

    Then there are more practical times. Like saying you are in a rush and can’t speak to a crazy guy who won’t leave you alone on the street. There are many situations where lying can save you grief. It’s a matter of how and when.

    Now we have compulsive liars and manipulators. Those people are not worth any of our time and should be sent off to an island. One with bad weather.
    Ricardo´s last blog ..Trample Me!! My ComLuv Profile

  27. Written by THE GUYS
    on September 26, 2009 at 5:42 am
    Permalink

    Just stopping by to see what’s up?!

    We’d love to be guests sometime if you ever want to have us.

    We love your style and your BLOG!

    You know that don’t you? :)
    THE GUYS´s last blog ..This Guy gets screwed! My ComLuv Profile

  28. Written by Mike Foster
    on September 27, 2009 at 1:53 am
    Permalink

    Here’s the thing, there’s good and bad lies, lies that are necessary to avoid hurting someones feeling or pissing off our boss for no other reason than to, well, piss off your boss. So, if you could all the lies out there then 90% seems just about right. My question: Do you really want to hang around with a person who never lies, ever? About anything? Think about it…

    peace,
    mike
    livelife365
    Mike Foster´s last blog ..Landscape Escape My ComLuv Profile

  29. Written by The Constant Complainer
    on September 30, 2009 at 6:51 pm
    Permalink

    This is a great post. I lost my best friend of 15 years over one question. Want to know what it was? “What do you think (about my wife)?” But why wouldn’t I be honest, considering our friendship…
    The Constant Complainer´s last blog ..Cell Phone Shots – Volume VI My ComLuv Profile

  30. Written by meleah rebeccah
    on October 2, 2009 at 6:40 pm
    Permalink

    Is it possible to be 100% honest all of the time, I say no, but there are ways to tactfully tell the truth, and without hurting someone’s feelings.

    Exactly. And I always DO MY BEST to follow that rule, when it comes to people I CARE about.
    meleah rebeccah´s last blog ..Just Because… My ComLuv Profile

  31. Written by meleah rebeccah
    on October 2, 2009 at 6:40 pm
    Permalink

    PS:
    Loved the Costanza reference!
    meleah rebeccah´s last blog ..Just Because… My ComLuv Profile

  32. Written by THE GUYS
    on October 3, 2009 at 4:20 pm
    Permalink

    Gave you some props today on our site. We’ve gotten way beyond since the fall started. Sending you something tonight or tomorrow.

    See ya!
    THE GUYS´s last blog ..Check out these great sites! My ComLuv Profile

  33. Written by LaTonya
    on October 9, 2009 at 2:22 pm
    Permalink

    Hmmmm. This one is so thought provoking.

    Her goes… for those who say they never lie, they’ll lie about something else to! We all do, intentional or not.

    Just yesterday, I lied to my baby girl, when she asked what her singing the ‘Star Spangled Banner,’ sounded like. I lied to my husband when he asked if I looked at some info. like he asked. And as soon as he was out of my presence, I checked it out.

    I lied because, I was NOT going to tell my baby, her singing was less than pretty, and I didn’t want to get my husband all in a huff, because he’s needed me to look over it long before yesterday, and I didn’t want the cold shoulder.

    Am I wrong? Maybe, maybe not. But I did it, and will do it again. And that’s real honesty!

    A lady I know, always has to put her two cents in, and she always justifies herself by saying… I was telling the truth.
    LaTonya´s last blog ..Random Thoughts My ComLuv Profile

  34. Written by Bow Ties
    on October 10, 2009 at 10:09 am
    Permalink

    There are cases when it’s better to lie than say the truth . I lie sometimes to make the other person to feel nice or okay .

  35. Written by Buy My House
    on October 12, 2009 at 9:09 am
    Permalink

    No We don’t have to be lied whatever the circumstances we have!

  36. Written by Natural
    on October 13, 2009 at 6:59 pm
    Permalink

    YIKES, sorry guys i haven’t replied. thanks for stopping by. i hate to give a group thanks, but i read all of your comments. trying to get back into the swing of things. :)

  37. Written by inflatable pontoons
    on October 16, 2009 at 8:52 am
    Permalink

    Sometimes it’s better to lie in order not to hurt the person you’re talking . But anyway,to lie is not the best choice you have.. There are also many posibilities depending on the situation.
    inflatable pontoons´s last blog ..How Much Performance Can I Expect From My Pontoon Boat? My ComLuv Profile

  38. Written by BK
    on October 19, 2009 at 8:32 pm
    Permalink

    91% is a pretty high statistics. However, I would like to believe that most of that 91% are into what you mentioned, “white lies …. are socially acceptable.” Most of the time they are telling white lies so that they would not hurt anyone’s feeling. But then white lies are still lies. If we get into the habit of telling white lies, sooner or later, a few lies will seem to be alright too? Instead of white lies, a better option is to tactfully tell the truth in such a way as to minimize the hurt the truth may occur. I am no saint too, I am also traveling down this road as far as possible. I do consciously remind myself to tell the truth or just be silent.
    BK´s last blog ..Driving While Texting Can Kill My ComLuv Profile

  39. Written by mac
    on October 20, 2009 at 10:39 am
    Permalink

    There is no reason to tell a lie if one is ot analize life and learn from it.

    When life is hard, you lie to yourself and others. ON Bill Mahers show, he himself said “America is a society of liars”

    We don’t tell the whole truth, just enough ot shut people up. We talk about things other then ourselves.

    We talk about how celebrities are in major debt or in divorce but we would never dare to speak of ourselves in such a way.

    Lieing helps create this impression that we are greater then we really are, lieing is an insecurity we have about people nto accepting us for who we truly are.

    The simple truth is we have liars everywhere, and the very few people who seek some sort of truth have to ask a lot of questions and really push at it to find any truth.

    Look at the situation in aamerica’s bailout of 2.1 trillion dollars which the federal reserve says “we can’t tell you where it went”

    What the hell is that kind of answer to congress?

    Lieing is socially accepting. Boith parties know it and we jsut accept it.

    “I’m sorry, I think we need some time apart.”

    the whoel story is..

    “..so I can hook up with some other dude”

    Good post!

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