A few minutes later my friend replied, “Maybe she doesn’t want to go to the gym she might be quite comfortable just the way she is. There are a lot of people out there who are just fine with themselves but magazines, other people, TV, make them feel bad about their size.”

Fair enough.

I don’t doubt she’s happy or even comfortable; I just assume she would prefer to be a smaller size. I know being fat is not always about overeating, there are other factors (e.g. medical, emotional or psychological) that contribute to weight gain. Who knows what her reasons are yet we still judge or comment.

The issue of weight, especially for a woman, is a touchy subject and is not about the weight but the desire to feel wanted, accepted and loved. It seems socially acceptable to make fun of fat people because no one cares about their feelings.  “Fat people know that the first impression that others have of them may be negative. This leads to low self-esteem and shame.”

Not fair.

Losing weight is hard work, it’s not easy! Some people are choosing happiness over body size and have embraced the Fat Acceptance Movement, whose goal is to “change societal attitudes toward individuals who are fat.” I first read about fat acceptance on Kim’s blog over @ FatHappyGirl and I was moved by what she wrote below:

I think an important part of fat acceptance is really understanding what fat acceptance is. It’s personal, it’s not the same way for everyone. It isn’t just about being fat, it’s wanting to be treated equally and fairly. It’s about not wanting to be judged on being fat. It’s about being treated kindly because we are another human being. It means being free of assumptions and half truths. It means being judged less and loved more.

I’m trying to lose several pounds this year with the help of friends/family, my Wii Fit, cutting back² on junk food, making healthier food choices, portion control and regular exercise. Not everyone trying to lose weight wants to be a size 3 either, but a size comfortable.

I am not happy my clothes don’t fit anymore. I am not comfortable with my bulge, but I am a happy person. There are days when I dream of Frisbee sized cookies and days when my eyes are on the prize.  Can you be fat and healthy? Well there’s a bewildering array of conflicting opinions on the subject, but most of the studies I read said no. A few of them said yes. Can you be fat but happy? Absolutely!

So, what did I mean by my comment?  I’ve never heard anyone say they’re overweight because they want to be.  Either they don’t have the time to exercise or the money to buy nutritious foods. If someone is well off financially, to me that represents opportunity and freedom. Why wouldn’t someone use these tools to their physical advantage.

Later I apologize to my friend if I offended her with my comment, that’s never my intention, same goes with this post.  A person’s size would not prevent me from befriending or treating them with respect.  I do think it’s unfair that a person’s “worth”, especially a woman, is measured in pounds, that’s a heavy burden to bear almost more than the weight itself.

1. I’ll explain
2. not eliminating

Is there a such thing as being too successful for a mate? In this case I’m talking about a successful woman.

Of course. women have no problem dating a successful man and when I say successful, I mean doing well financially.

“Typically” the man is thought of as the breadwinner or the financial provider in the relationship.

That’s not so much the case today, women have their “stuff” together. We are smart, driven, we have careers, we own homes, we’re educated and may not be financially dependent on a man.

However being successful and dating doesn’t always go together. Some men are intimated and insecure about a woman who has achieved a measure of success that out weighs his own. He may feel that if she has all these “things” then why is he needed.

I came across this quote from a guy on this topic and he said: I’m not intimidated by successful women, but I’m not exactly comfortable with them in the long-term, neither.

Is the thought of being too successful an “issue” that women create or is it time for the men to get over their insecurities and learn to embrace her success?

Photo by LongHairBroad

There’s a rising number of women who choose to live without a man or family called The Freemale. Okay?

Here are some definitions for The Freemale that I found on the web:

A new breed of independent, single women showing that they don’t need a man to be happy;

Women who choose to be alone, and rejoice in a life where they can spend time and money as they wish;

Manless females who are too busy living life to the full to make space for a second tooth brush by the bathroom sink.

These definitions do make The Freemale seem rather selfish or self-centered rather than it being a conscious and personal choice.  What’s the difference?  Maybe these women choose to do otherwise with their life that has nothing to do with material things or too busy to be bothered. 

Some people feel that The Freemale’s reasons for not being in a relationship are less than truthful and that the real reason they are not in a relationship is because either they can’t find a man or no one has asked them to marry.

Basically, if a woman says she’s not interested in a romantic relationship with a man or in having a family, she’s lying. It’s every woman’s “happily ever after” to be married with 2.5 kids, the dog and the white picket fence.

I don’t know how you *show* that you don’t need a man, and who walks around saying they don’t need one?   Not me!  That would seem more weird to me than actually not being interested in one, but there are women out there who prefer to be unattached. I also know couples who choose to remain childless.  People refer to these situations as self-centered and selfish.  Are they?

Just thinking, is it every woman’s desire to be in a relationship? Do you think there are women out there who have made a conscious decision to live without a man (family) and are happy doing so, or are they being less than truthful?