My Two Left Feet
I hate rushing, I hate being unorganized and I hate being late, so I try to prepare as much as I can the night before so I’m none of the above. I set the breakfast table, iron clothes and make sure the bags are packed.
Yesterday morning I did everything but pick out what I was going to wear to work. When translated: I spend at least 10 minutes staring into a closet full of clothes, lamenting that I have nothing to wear.
Eventually, I decided on a black pair of pants, a beige colored suit jacket, a black scoop-neck tee and threw a pair of heels into a bag. Off I went.
I hopped in my car and as I’m nearing my job and stopped at a light, I figure now would be a good time to retrieve my shoes from the back. I reach behind my seat, grab the bag with my shoes and guess what? The shoes don’t match!
That’s not even the best part. When I arrive at my desk, I remove the shoes from the bag and not only do they not match, but I have two left shoes. That’s a problem, I have a left foot and a right foot.
W.T.H.
I also had somewhere to go after work and hadn’t planned on going home, so I did what any two year old would do when presented with shoes. I put those bad boys on and walked around like it was nothing.
I had to show my co-worker though, she said no one would notice. No sooner than she finished her sentence, in walked another coworker and she said, “I noticed when I was walking behind you, one is shiny and one is not.”
“Shut up.”
The left shoe on the right foot didn’t hurt at all and since most people think I’m crazy anyway, I prefer comical, I had no qualms about wearing two left shoes. It was only when I went to the ladies room that I felt a little self-conscious about who might be looking at my shoes. I silently cursed myself for not finishing the book, How to Levitate over a Public Toilet for Dummies.
After people finished laughing at my gaffe nobody seemed to pay much attention to my shoes until my last trip to the ladies room. I’m in one of the stalls handling my business and I hear someone say, “Bye Val, have a Happy Easter.” I’m thinking now how did they know it was me? Then I remembered the famous words of Mars Blackman: It’s gotta be the shoes.
Oh Valerie – what a precious story. I can’t believe you were able to wear the left shoe on your right foot and not be in pain.
One time I went to work with one black shoe and one brown shoe. I didn’t notice until after lunch and was so concerned others might notice my silly mistake, I stayed at my desk and kept my feet hidden.
This story really made me smile. Thank you!
Have a very happy Easter.
hi barbara, it seems like a few of us have gotten the colors wrong, i’m surprised i haven’t, but this is the first time i grabbed 2 different shoes. i’ll be organizing my closet and maybe i should color code the shoes. lol.
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HOLLERING!!!!!!!!!!! Been there done that!!!!!!!
well how come you never told me. i guess this is old age smacking me around.
That’s the great thing about the internet. People admit their foibles, and it makes us all feel GOOD.
yeah, i’ll admit most of them because i do some funny stuff and i have to laugh at myself. and so do other people.
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I’m laughing so much I’m coughing. This is why I keep my work shoes at work. But that doesn’t help me with the unmatched knee-his, the navy blue slacks I thought were black and so on. I’m like you, I hate to rush and in the morning I can stare at the closet for what seems like hours.
hey there Dot! if i worked w/you i would have stop by your station first, just for a giggle. If I don’t find my clothes the night before, I’m a mess the next morning. It’s hard to tell navy from black when you’re in the house, but the second you step outside, bam!
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LOL! You leave the best part for the end. I’d hate to have someone recognize me in a stall by my shoes. Especially if I’m wearing two left shoes.
yeah, well we all look at shoes when we go to the bathroom, don’t we? well at least i do, but i never call that person by name even if i know who it is.
actually people shouldn’t have conversations while in the stall. give me a moment of silence please.
I am LOL-ing at the thought of you stubbornly jamming your right foot into that left shoe. Yes, having a right and left foot can indeed be a problem when you have two left shoes. But isn’t that better than having two left feet?
just as long as i didn’t walk in a 360 degree circle to the left i was good to go. i was mad at first, but then i had to laugh and share.
Too funny. Hope you found a shoe store when you left work.
nope mark, i had to go home and grab a shoe. it wasn’t until later that i realized my outfit did not match. my skirt had dk. brown flecks and i was dressed in black. batting .1000.
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You are my hero Valerie – stubbornly making the left shoe fit on your left foot.
I would have left work and bought a cheap pair of shoes – I can’t stand for my feet to be uncomfortable.
Oddly enough – I have not done anything like that. I have, however, done the infamous walk all the way to work with my skirt tucked into my tights …
I finished Levitating Over Toilets for Dummies and it didn’t help at all. Annoying people still find me in the restroom.
actually, it wasn’t so bad, the top of the shoe was wide enough so that my toes weren’t pinched. i’m off to finish that book though.
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Natural,
I must say that I can relate to your experience, even though I have never actually done the two different shoes mistake.
Often, however, I leave with my pants tucked into my socks, or something else like that.
i too have some how done the pant-in-sock-thing. probably in the summer months when i switch to knee socks or knee highs. this is a first though.
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I don’t know what happened, but my Google Reader seems to have dropped your address (& some others.) I’ve fixed the problem–sorry I’ve been missing you!
This post reminds me of the time I got to work in my strictly-business-attire job one day only to realize I hadn’t changed out of my sneakers from that morning. Fortunately I was able to keep my feet under my desk most of the day! My sympathies! *hug*
oh google and i had a falling out. it doesn’t like me and i don’t care too much for them. i’m not surprised, no biggie. i know where you are and pop in from time to time for a little serenity now. oh i’ve done the sneaker thing before. i left my shoes home and had to walk around in them. THAT, i loved. i would prefer to wear sneakers to work, or having the option.
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I’ve done something very similar! I was really groggy and late one morning trying to get to work and when I got there, I looked down and saw that I had one black sneaker and one blue sneaker on. Talk about embarrassing.
it’s nice to know this happens to other people. well who says our shoes/sneakers/socks must match. okay well i do, but sometimes stuff happens.
Q Now who’s a funny blogger? A = Valerie
I can’t believe you have a right foot AND a left foot! How lucky is that! (you didn’t tell us how things went at the thing after work)
yeah a right and a left foot. when i got all sophisticated, i don’t know, but there is nothing wrong with two left shoes. oh after work, i wasn’t even matching. i thought my skirt had black flecks, so i wore black top and jacket/black hosiery and shoes. the darn thing was brown. yes, i need a light bulb in the bedroom. thursday was just a messed up day for me. i felt so dumb, but tried to make it work.
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I’m sorry…and I know I must be crazy for saying this, but….
I LOVE the look!!
And KUDOS to you for going with it!
I think you may have just started a new fashion, Val!
ron, that’s what i told some people, that it was a new trend and to deal with it. besides the gap on the side, it wasn’t bad at all. now had it hurt, i would not have worn the shoe.
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Ok Valerie, this was so funny I laughed out loud! So, we ladies really do check out each other’s shoes in the bathroom. You were wearing two left shoes, but you were able to walk a straight line and not walk in circles
That’s a good thing. God I love your blog — I just love it!
if anything i thought i would have picked up the same shoe in different colors, like black and blue. never would i have imagined that i would pick up two left shoes. yes we look at each other shoes in the stall. i do, but i don’t go talking to them. i wait.
thanks for visiting davina. i have to get my silly out or i’ll explode. i’m going to search my bag next for a serious post.
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Wow, what a trooper! I’d have gone shoeless. You’re my hero. BTW, I love your shoes. I prefer a long toe to a short one. I don’t wear dress shoes that often, but I don’t like the ones that show my toe cleavage.
i’m going to whisper this to you only: i couldn’t pass up an opportunity to make a joke out of it. at first i was miffed at my stupidity, but then i said well let me see if the darn shoe will fit and it did, without hurting. i was free to roam about the cabin.
hey i like that, toe cleavage. i don’t show any cleavage anywhere, much too conservative and scared.
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I don’t really know you, but I think I want you to be my new friend.
You’re hilarious! One of the things I hated when I worked at an office was the woman that sat in the cubicle behind me had some sort of internal catalog of all my clothes and shoes and would make many comments about when I’d last worn something, how that shirt would have looked better with my black pants, etc like some sort of savant but could not remember that it was “quit claim deed” and not “quick claim deed” after an entire year of working with “quit claim deeds”.
Don’t know what my point is, only your story reminded me of her.
hi tracy and welcome. nice to see a new face around here. i will be checking you out later and will add you to my buddy list.
are you serious about the lady in your office? that is kind of crazy to have that kind of knowledge about someone’s wardrobe. i might remember something if i like it, but i don’t comment on what they could or should have worn. the nerve of some people’s children.
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This actually happened to me too. I used to play soccer in high school. I had several pairs of football shoes with the same style and brand. I grabbed 2 right shoes. I was benched and our team had to play less one player.
hi joel and welcome to my blog. two right shoes? did you try to put them both on. it’s not so bad. well maybe that depends on the shoe.
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and now you know why I have a complete set of clothing in my car at all times- including shoes This is it – the same scenario except mine is usually eating while driving Sigh
hmm, maybe i should keep a pair of shoes in my car, but they probably wouldn’t match when i need them…well maybe if i also threw in an outfit. i don’t have that many clothes. none that can sit in my trunk, but super idea.
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From now on when someone says they have two left feet, I will think of you
cool. i really couldn’t come up with a better title.
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I can’t believe that didn’t hurt. I’m known for forgetting pieces of my outfit when I bike to wrok and have been forced to wear my bright green flowered sneakers to a few meetings when the shoes completely failed to make it into the bag…but they were a matched pair.
nope. didn’t hurt at all. of course, this could not have been done with just any shoe. if you don’t have room in the toe or your toes are already being pinch, it won’t work. the shoe on the right is wide, it’s like my foot was in a Lincoln Navigator. that much room.
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Give the little lady some extra points for that can-do attitude!!! Okay, so I’d be up for wearing the two different shoes…..but two LEFT FEET????! Yikes, that is some suffering you are doing there! You are Woman!! Wear those two different left-footed shoes like you OWN them! Good for you. You crack me up.
oh no, they didn’t hurt now, i couldn’t have worn them if they did. i’m not that much of a trooper. i don’t really do pain. i said, well hey, let me try them on and..well sometimes during the day, i even forget that i had two left shoes.
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I’m glad I’m not the only one who did that. Well…I did half of that. Two different shoes was excuse enough for me to quickly buy a new pair. Next time though, I’ll wear the mismatching shoes and think of you.
Thanks for the laugh!
i wish i could have gone and purchased another pair of shoes. it’s not that easy for me and my big feet. hey, we can make it a holiday. april 9th is now Mix Match Shoe Day. Oh wow, check this out http://www.mixmatchshoes.com/cart.html if only i would have known. Why would anyone buy 1 shoe – unless they hand deliver, they can’t help me.
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You are one funny lady…you had me laughing out loud about the shoes. I’ve done that myself too and all I could do was laugh
yay, another one who has done the same thing. i laughed after i got mad. then i laughed some more. this probably will never happen again. get me once, shame on shoe, get me twice, shame on me.
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W.T.H.
LOL..I need early warning on stories like this, i spat herbal tea all over my monitor, much to the delight of my coworkers.
It’s never happened to me, but I hope I handle it with as much grace!
i’ll send you over some paper towel. sorry.
it’s fun to laugh. my boss had a good laugh when i showed him as well. i just need to pay more attention next time. hehehe. glad this has not happened to you.
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You’re so funny.
I’m a lot like you – I like to be prepared. So, you’re a control freak too, huh?
yes, i need to be prepared and yes i’m a control freak. why is that?
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Way to make it work for you…lol I’m with you in that I must tell people about things like that once I get past my annoyance with myself.
I know several people that have done the mis-matched shoe thing but not the two left shoe thing. I probably would have gone barefoot as much as possible.
buf, i feel so dumb at times..not a being down on myself attitude, but a WTH were you thinking attitude. mistakes happen and i laugh at them when i can. after i throw or bang on something though.
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One of the key things to remember when you try to be more organized is that stuff happens. You can only decrease the amount of stuff you get and the way you deal with it.
come again? oh i am anti-stuff, but shoes are a necessity and for a woman? we need at least, what? 5,464 pairs.
okay i have about 8-10 pairs of dress shoes, not many, they just happened to be in the wrong spot and me being so sure of myself…well that’s what i get. my shoes keep me humble. thanks miguel, i know what you mean.
I just love a woman that can laugh at herself!
With an attitude like that, you’ll be dancing on everyone elses graves with THEIR SHOES – Lol!!
yeah mamaflo, i do some weird stuff that i have no explanation for sometimes. i get mad, but then i have to laugh. i had to share with my coworkers (and you all), they are so going to miss me when i’m fired. who else is going to do this stuff. lol.
I am CRACKING up. I have worn two different shoes to work, but never two LEFT shoes. HAHAHHA That is PRICELESS. Love the photo!
it’s so nice to know i’m not alone. well okay, i was the only one so far who admitted to 2 left shoes, but a lot of people have made the same mistake with 2 different shoes. i normally pair my shoes up before i put them in the closet. i think i was set up. lol
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This is so funny!! I’ve not worn out different shoes before but I certainly can relate to getting all anxious at the last minute prior to going out.
I like that you have the ability to laugh at yourself! Awesome!
evelyn, i’m a mess if i don’t get myself ready the night before. i wasn’t rushing too much, but i was pushing it. yes i HAVE to laugh at myself, i have no choice, but i did mumble “idiot” under my breath when i realized my mistake in the car. when i saw i had two left shoes, i just said, you better work. the shoe fit fine, only because the top part was wide enough.
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Dohhhh!!!!
That kinda stuff really does suck, but it seems to happen to me as well sometimes…
Embarrassment sometimes happens in groups of 3.
well i was 2/2 that day grog. oh wait, i know what no. 3 was. never mind. i’m done with my embarrassment phase then.
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hey Valerie,
I’ve had days like that… actually, I think most of my days are like that.
My problem is typically forgetting the appropriate shoes all together. Sneakers just don’t look that good with dress pants, and yes, people notice. ~ Steve, aka the trade show guru
sneakers never go with dress pants. i agree steve. i guess you could walk with a limp if that ever happens again. nobody will dare ask why the sneakers.
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first time here and i am ROFLOL…oh my world…at least u took it in good stride!
hey aloted and welcome, glad you had a laugh. yeah there was not much else i could do. not many people noticed or cared.
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Valerie – I could not walk around in shoes that were both for my left feet. I can barely walk in heels that are for left and right! From now on all your pairs of shoes need to be identical – and maybe you can keep the lefts on one side of your closet and the rights on the other – make sure you grab from both sides!
Funny story. I would have walked around in my stocking feet all day (or kept on my other shoes).
Kat
yes kat, i will make sure my shoes match from here on out. the right left shoe was wide enough for my little piggies. i will pay more attention next time. this will never happen again. i’m sure of it.
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This has once happened to me in the gym. I started exercising and suddenly realiste that I’m not only wearind 2 different shoes but also both are left (or maybe right, I don’t remember). It was too late too get back home so I had to endure it though.
hello and welcome, Nieruchomosci Gryfino. i think if i had on two left sneakers that might hurt. my sneakers always fit better than my shoes and have less wiggle room.
Wow! My feet would have been killing me if I were to wear two left or two right! I have done that before though. Two different colored socks or shoes.
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what’s funny is, if my socks didn’t match, i might flip out, but my shoes? not a problem. weird.
I’m new to your blog but you’ve got me hooked with this one post alone. *applause*
I have to give you major kudos for actually wearing the shoes. I have fallen on the floor, prostrate with awe, admiration and respect. I’m not totally, honestly, completely sure that I would have had the nerve to do it, although I would have really liked to. It’s kind of that “wow, she is so brave/smart/cool and I wish I could be like her but deep down I know I’m really just a chicken who would have faked an immediate illness and gone home with an exceptionally red face” syndrome.
hello and welcome Soonerchick. i think the mixed up shoe thing just fits my personality – especially at work – if i didn’t liven up the place, they would just do….work? i think i felt more self-conscious with my sneakers on than i did with two left shoes. thanks for visiting me and sorry your comment was trapped in spam.
That is too funny!
I’ve never had to left or right, but I have had shoes that don’t match….
Kelly
30somethingandsearching.blogspot.com
it happens kelly. i say roll with it, if you can.
Somehow you slipped right past my Google Reader. I have a newspaper rolled up and smacking the living shit out the Reader and jamming its snout into the carpet. Effing Reader.
First, you’ve been doing some housecleaning here, missy. What a sassy tweak you little minx.
Somehow, even though the title clearly states Two Left Feet, I did not pick up on the fact that both shoes were for the left foot. Even though the photo clearly shows both shoes.
And when I read “…so I did what any two year old would do when presented with shoes. I put those bad boys on and walked around like it was nothing.”
I thought you were going to say you had a tantrum over it. I love that you were able to slip both on and go about your day.
Love this story! Man I wish we worked together.
not a problem CG, i fly under the radar quite well, google didn’t see me coming.
i’ve been housecleaning? here? on my blog? you mean sweeping the cobwebs out of the corner?
nope, no tantrum for me. i save my energy for more important things. i just slipped them on, they didn’t hurt and kept it moving.
oh man, if we worked together, we’d have a ball cracking each other up.
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Oh…..I hope that didn’t hurt too much!! I’ve walked out many times still wearing my house slippers and it usually takes Tee to highlight it to me that, “Mom!!! You’re wearing your house slippers!!!”
no big pumpkin, it didn’t hurt at all. trust and believe that if it did i would have walked barefoot.
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In my own opinion, you should be proud of yourself because of this experience. Why? because you have the courage to be in front of many people even if you do not have the same shoe.
hi Terrance/TDT, never looked at it as courage, after i stopped being upset, it seemed funny.
I am laughing so hard tears are coming down my face. I needed that laugh, so thank you! I was still laughing hard when I read this post to my husband, so hard in fact he couldn’t understand what I was saying. Thanks for your humor!
hey abbie, welcome to my blog. i’m glad you had a good laugh, that’s my favorite thing to do, well uh. well anyway, you got me laughing again just reading your comment.
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How funny!! xD I’m glad you thought it was funny and didn’t have a fit about it. I know a few people that would have either driven back home or bought new shoes, and I just don’t understand them.
well i could have used a new pair of shoes, but i would never buy on a whim just because mine don’t match. i think they should allow us to wear sneakers, but nothing doing. thanks for visiting.
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That was fabulous! I love that you took a photo and posted it! LOL
thanks C. of course the people at work think i’m crazy of the things i take pictures of and in my mind i’m like shut up, you don’t have a blog, you wouldn’t understand. we have to find material somewhere.
OMG! That was funny as HELL! I laughed so hard, and out loud. I’m just glad I was at home, because someone would think I’m crazy! I just want to know, how did the left shoe, on your right foot, not hurt?
hey latonya and welcome. glad you enjoyed it. the left shoe on my right foot did not hurt ONLY because it was wide enough at the time….it allow for a margin of error, but there’s no way i could have done that with the other shoe, which is more narrow. trust and believe, i could not wear shoes that hurt.
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I think you create a comedy scene! but anyway i like your approach to wear show on left feet!