Do Excuses Negate Responsibility?

I have a million of them, no not dollars, but excuses, especially when it comes to why I think I can’t do something. Some excuses are lame, some are funny and they are so easy to make up. In some ways, they had become my truth. I believed them.

Lately, I’ve been listening to myself and others talk and I’m learning that one thing I don’t like about excuses is that they negate a try. I hear this a lot, “I can’t save money because I don’t have any money to save.” Under some circumstances this is true, but the possibility of saving may never happen if we have already excused ourselves from trying.

Rationaliza
tion is the process of trying to hide shameful conduct from ourselves.

I’m working on not using an excuse as a reason for not trying. They do nothing but keep me from doing something.

Yesterday I woke up an hour later than usual and I was like darn, I’m going to be late! Immediately my body shut down and I started dragging my butt. Then I said, well let me at least try to make it. I had to reduce time spent on a few things, but I made it. No, not everything is preventable, but some things are worth a try. I had a problem with tardiness, but since putting forth an effort, I have not been late once.

Excuses? Kind or Harmful. What do you think? Also, do you prefer someone tell you they don’t want to do something or do you prefer the “flowery” excuse?

Chuck Gallozzi of Personal-Development.com suggested that we discover solutions instead of inventing excuses by planting this Garden of Success:

First, plant 3 rows of peas;

Patience
Positive thinking
Persistence

Next, plant 3 rows of squash;

Squash excuses
Squash blame
Squash criticism

Then, plant 3 rows of lettuce;

Let us be responsible
Let us be trustworthy
Let us be ambitious

Finish, with 3 rows of turnip;

Turn up when needed
Turn up with a smile
Turn up with confidence

Posted on September 24, 2008 at 1:00 am by Natural · Permalink
In: Goals, Just Thinking, Life, Organization · Tagged with: Excuses, Success, time management

49 Responses

Subscribe to comments via RSS

Written by Damien
on September 24, 2008 at 1:18 am
Permalink

Well said, well written

Damien´s last blog post..Why the Bailout Scares Me
Written by Barbara Swafford
on September 24, 2008 at 2:17 am
Permalink

Hi Natural – First off, I love the Garden of Success. I’m going to type that up and put it on my bulletin board.

I don’t like excuses. When the kids were growing up, I just wanted the truth. Just admit you screwed up, over slept, or whatever. No excuses. And I have always tried to practice the same.

Years ago I remember making a mistake on a new job. I thought of all of the excuses I could give my boss, but none of them sounded believable. Instead I walked into their office and said, “You may want to fire me, because I …..”. They said “thank you for being so honest, be more careful in the future, and no you’re not fired”. Honesty pays off.

Barbara Swafford´s last blog post..Sometimes Thank You Is Not Enough
Written by The Fitness Diva
on September 24, 2008 at 9:15 am
Permalink

Excuses are what keep most people from succeeding. Hell, I’d be a millionaire by now if I didn’t make excuses, and really, more than making excuses, procrastinate about doing the things I need to get done.

Just something more to work on!

The Fitness Diva´s last blog post..And Now for Some Meditation…..
Written by Urban Thought
on September 24, 2008 at 9:25 am
Permalink

Really? Is this what you are writing about? I’m glad you didn’t make excuses not to get this post up. I’m kidding. Please don’t take that the wrong way.

I’ve made excuses from time to time but have cut back significantly.

I’d prefer someone to tell me they don’t want to do something rather than give me an excuse why they cannot do it. Just be straight up with it. Don’t waist my time or your breath.

Urban Thought´s last blog post..Thoughts In My Head
Written by Kelly@SHE-POWER
on September 24, 2008 at 9:27 am
Permalink

I have never read the garden of Success before – it’s great! I used to be full of excuses. Not so much in letting others down because my people pleasing perfectionist self wouldn’t have a bar of that. I have always known that if I make a commitment to someone that I will do or achieve something, than it’s as good as done. There is no room for failure is how I always looked at life.

Funny enough, this has never applied to me and the goals I set for myself. I can let myself down over and over again. When it comes to my own needs I am the Queen of Excuses. I am trying very hard to rectify this now, and because of that I am noticing when I make excuses. I’ve made a lot over my lapsed exercise routine the past few months.

So, in answer to your question, no, excuses do not negate responsibility. If I pledge something then i should follow through to the best of my ability. This is a responsibility I have to myself as much as anyone else. It’s a little something called personal ethics.

Kelly

Kelly@SHE-POWER´s last blog post..An Australian Delinquent in Paris
Written by Monique
on September 24, 2008 at 9:52 am
Permalink

My best friend loves to tell me “I don’t have excuses, I have reasons”. Every time she says it I want to punt her across the room.

I hate the flowery version of reasons/excuses. Just give it to me straight if you don’t want to do something.

Monique´s last blog post..Um, Dad.. Don’t.. Ok… Hi.
Written by Marelisa
on September 24, 2008 at 11:34 am
Permalink

Hi Natural: Chuck’s garden idea is very creative, I’m going to put it in my notebook for future reference. I’m actually really good at not giving excuses and taking responsibility for what I do or what I don’t do. I guess it’s because when I hear someone else coming up with excuses I think it sounds so lame. And you make a good point: a lot of people simply find a way to excuse themselves from even trying.

Marelisa´s last blog post..Thoughts to Get Your Creative Juices Flowing
Written by Max
on September 24, 2008 at 1:08 pm
Permalink

LOL @ Monique.
Excuses were the boilerplate of my financial disaster. A tough lesson learned leaving me broke but not broken.
Written by cardiogirl
on September 24, 2008 at 1:22 pm
Permalink

As everyone else said, that Garden of Success is very clever.

I like No to be straight forward. But I have a hard time saying No to others. I usually try to soften the blow before I say No.

The same concept applies to apologies. If you’re going to say you’re sorry, simply say, “I’m sorry, what I did was wrong.” Don’t give me the excuse that negates the apology.

cardiogirl´s last blog post..In which my future and my past collide
Written by humph!!
on September 24, 2008 at 1:51 pm
Permalink

Excuses Excuses Excuses – have been around longer than most people!! – “Any excuse is better than none” is probably the most famous one… the one you reference about “saving money” – you should be shame of yo self gurl… some peeps really don’t have enough to save… and save effectively… I can agree with you on one point though… don’t make an excuse for something you just DON’T WANT TO DO!! – just say- I don’t want to do it… case in point,…. Yall should come visit me… responses/excuses… oh you live too far… I don’t think I could find my way… and so on and so on… but life without excuses – never happen!! – As for the “excuse garden” – Chuck Gallozzi – is not the author of this famous “poem” – it has been around for years and years and years and years… no excuse… just fact.
Written by Vered - MomGrind
on September 24, 2008 at 2:39 pm
Permalink

I think excuses are a type of negative self-talk. You convince yourself that you can’t do something, that it’s not even worth trying.

I much prefer positive self-talk.

Vered – MomGrind´s last blog post..Wordless Wednesday: Mona Lisa, Enhanced
Written by Jay
on September 24, 2008 at 3:37 pm
Permalink

I suppose it depends on what type of excuses you’re talking about. If it’s excuses to yourself, then yes, that can be simply a very negative way of easing your conscience about not doing something.

But if it’s excuses to others … Hmm… I think it’s a grey area. If you asked someone if they’d be willing to do something, and they just answered with a bald ‘No’, you’d think them very rude, wouldn’t you? But when does a reasonable explanation (I’m sorry, but I have a dentist’s appointment that day’) become the sort of excuse (I’d love to help but …’) which is more of a wriggling out of something you don’t want to do?

How reasonable is reasonable? Isn’t it just as valid that you don’t want to do something because you don’t like doing it, but you want that person to understand your motive so they don’t think it’s personal?

I don’t know.
Written by BloggerNewbie
on September 24, 2008 at 3:47 pm
Permalink

Great Post. simple but true, you just have to think about it. Excuses are justifications in your own mind and the trouble is some people really believe them!

I have the “twinkie” theory. http://bloggernewbie.com/blog/index.php/2008/08/30/do-something-2/#more-145

I think it’s hilarious, my kids, not so much!

BloggerNewbie´s last blog post..That Dreaded 4-letter Word!
Written by Paunchiness
on September 24, 2008 at 5:58 pm
Permalink

Thanks for the inspirational post. I find myself getting lazy and coming up with excuses a lot. I think the key is like you said to just do it.

Paunchiness´s last blog post..And So Begins My Running Experiment
Written by Chase March
on September 24, 2008 at 6:16 pm
Permalink

Excuses don’t really mean anything.

Often it is better not to give an excuse.

Excuses can be a obstacle. I think you hit the nail right on the head.

If something is important to us, we can find the time or the money to do it. Don’t just make an excuse. Do it.

Chase March´s last blog post..Things I said I’d never do
Written by Chris
on September 24, 2008 at 9:23 pm
Permalink

I hate excuses also even though I’m good at making them. Chuck Gallozzi’s Garden is pretty cool…Man, why can’t I think of something original like that?

Chris´s last blog post..Make Money With Pokemon
Written by Davina
on September 24, 2008 at 9:47 pm
Permalink

Awesome! I love the Garden of Success. Thanks for sharing that. I prefer people to not use a flowery excuse. At the time it might bug me or hit a nerve, but in the end, that is my preference.

Davina´s last blog post..I’m Over The Moon As NBOTW
Written by robert bourne
on September 24, 2008 at 10:09 pm
Permalink

and turn up sober unless it’s an open invitation..:))

robert bourne´s last blog post..Flowers and Words
Written by *lynne*
on September 24, 2008 at 10:18 pm
Permalink

oh I’m pretty much an expert of excuses – they go hand-in-hand with procrastination, which is one of my many middle names!!! You’ve written well about being aware, and beware-ing, of them, thanks for the reminder

*lynne*´s last blog post..My head feels lighter…
Written by Evelyn Lim
on September 25, 2008 at 12:25 am
Permalink

Hahaha…what a clever poem! Love it!

I’ve also got a million of them. Excuses have served me previously but at the same time, prevented me from moving forward. I try not to justify myself too much anymore.

Thanks for sharing!

Evelyn Lim´s last blog post..Mind Travel To Ancient Egypt
Written by Mike Foster
on September 25, 2008 at 2:33 am
Permalink

One of my favorite adages is: Failing = feedback. We learn more from trying and failing than by doing nothing. The only failure, or excuse, is to not try at all.
Keep it positive!

peace,
mike
livelife365

Mike Foster´s last blog post..Ask Mike
Written by Dot
on September 25, 2008 at 10:21 am
Permalink

I prefer that people just be honest with me. I still remember years ago when a friend told me that “I don’t want to” was good enough. I didn’t have to justify it. I think some people make excuses because they don’t feel they’re entitled to say “I don’t want to.” I know that was my reason for using excuses.
Written by Natural
on September 25, 2008 at 11:42 am
Permalink

Damien, thanks. I’ve seen your avatar somewhere before. Hmmm?

Barbara, I too prefer to hear the truth rather than an excuse. Just say I messed up or I haven’t been trying or even I don’t want to.

The Fitness Diva, I could be in a better place myself, I made enough of them.

Urban Thought, I agree, at least you know who or what you’re dealing with and what to do next, if anything.

Kelly, It really doesn’t do me any good though when I make excuses to ourselves. I’m able-bodied.

Monique, I like the punting across the room idea. Funny. Shared your last post with my friends. LOL.

Marelisa, I found that GOS on Chuck’s website, but as mentioned, I’m not sure he is the originator, but the message is the point.

Max, I’m going to punt you across the room. You like showing me the numbers to watch me pass out, don’t you?

CardioGirl, if I have to say no, I try to a more convenient time, not just no I won’t help. Oh the look what you made me do apology, gotta love those.

Humph!, shame on me, my bad for the thought. But you DO live way out in the boondocks. Right Chuck not author, I found it on his website first.

Vered, that’s true. “I can’t” sometimes means “I won’t” try.

Jay, I agree, it depends. If I have to say no and can offer an alternative, I will. A valid reason, (conflict) not an excuse.

Blogger Newbie, thanks. Sometimes I have to ask myself if my own excuses to myself are valid or am I being lazy. Will check out the twinkie post.

Paunchiness, I can get lazy too and I don’t even like the phrase “I can’t.” I can get creative when urgency creates need, so I try.

Chase, agreed, excuses can create obstacles. Like blame, it doesn’t breed progress.

Chris, we’re all good at it, maybe it’s a protection from a truth we don’t want to face.

Davina, I thought that find was pretty cool. Chuck probably didn’t write it, but I like the message.

Robert, huh?

Lynn, I don’t feel too bad about ‘messing up’, but I do feel bad for not trying again if it’s something I can do, just how to figure out how. Thanks.

Evelyn Lim, that’s how I feel. Excuses prevent progress. Remove them and let the creativity flow.

Mike, I’m not always Ms. Positive, but I’ll be darn if I won’t at least try. Blind people play instruments and I say, “can’t”?

Dot, and yes we are free to say I don’t want to as well…hopefully w/o coming off as rude. I can’t fool myself with excuses. Hope you’re feeling better.

Natural´s last blog post..Do Excuses Negate Responsibility?
Written by Hicham
on September 25, 2008 at 1:15 pm
Permalink

I liked the idea of ‘Garden of Success’

As for me, I prefer to hear from people before judging whither what they call is a real excuse or just to avoid being responsible for what they do, so generally speaking, I do welcome excuses if they are rational and honest.
Written by sandy k
on September 25, 2008 at 2:43 pm
Permalink

I always feel so lame making up an exuse so therefore I don’t do it, but I have friends good friends who can make up believeable ones on the spot. I like your reasoning negates a try- better than lame hahah

sandy k´s last blog post.."Alvin the Chipmunk" – the early years !!
Written by sandy k
on September 25, 2008 at 2:44 pm
Permalink

what is my excuse for your post card still sitting on my desk uh hmnn well er you see I’ve been busy LAME!!!!!!!

sandy k´s last blog post.."Alvin the Chipmunk" – the early years !!
Written by Rita
on September 25, 2008 at 8:14 pm
Permalink

I gave up on “making excuses” YEARS ago, and moved straight into Scarlett O’Hara mode: ” I’ll think about it tomorrow. ” When the next day came, I did the same…again and again.

Maybe one day I’ll open my phone bills from 1993!

And I love your closing “garden theme.” It sounds so lovely on paper, so so easy to accomplish, but i know that I’ll end up with a “brown thumb” garden if I try to incorpoate even ONE of those things consistently into daily life. I think there’s a name for it: procrastination!

Rita
Written by jaky
on September 26, 2008 at 6:32 am
Permalink

YOu are right. I agree with you

jaky´s last blog post..The law of attraction
Written by Natural
on September 26, 2008 at 7:04 am
Permalink

Hicham, I do think there are reasons and then there are excuses even though they sound the same. Listening first is always good.

Sandy, I need my postcard. I have yet to send out any more since the first batch. I’m just trying to crack down on the excuses I tell myself. Self-examination I guess.

Rita, at least you know yourself and you’re a procrastinator instead of making up excuses on why you can’t get something done.

Jaky, what’s up. What do you agree with me about? These are just my personal feelings and something I would like to improve on. I guess in life, if we want better we have to DO better.
Written by parv kaushik
on September 26, 2008 at 1:07 pm
Permalink

hahahaa!! some honest confessions frm yur side … its really nice and well written…

parv kaushik´s last blog post..To Know A Woman
Written by JD at I Do Things
on September 26, 2008 at 6:46 pm
Permalink

Do you think there’s a difference between excuses and rationalizations? Or is “rationalization” just a euphemism for “excuse”?

This post (very well-written) reminded me of one of my favorite quotes from The Big Chill:

Michael: I don’t know anyone who could get through the day without two or three juicy rationalizations. They’re more important than sex

Sam Weber: Ah, come on. Nothing’s more important than sex.

Michael: Oh yeah? Ever gone a week without a rationalization?

JD at I Do Things´s last blog post..I Get Free Stuff so you don’t have to
Written by Roschelle
on September 27, 2008 at 5:50 pm
Permalink

I must start planting today!!!

Roschelle´s last blog post..The Ku Klux Klan: Unwelcome guests at Presidential Debate
Written by Some of my favorite posts from the last couple of weeks | Here To Ask Why
on September 27, 2008 at 5:50 pm
Permalink

[...] Do Excuses Negate Responsibility? [...]
Written by Lana
on September 28, 2008 at 2:32 am
Permalink

Good points here. I’m all about personal responsibility, myself. I’d much rather someone give me an honest “no” than a yes they’re going to wiggle out of (or try to,) later, y’know?

Lana´s last blog post..1st Hike of Autumn, 2008
Written by Cath Lawson
on September 28, 2008 at 10:51 am
Permalink

Hi Valerie – That garden of success is ace. I had never heard it before.

I try not to make excuses – especially excuses to myself for being unable to do stuff. That’s just setting myself up for failure before I start.

But I must confess – if someone asks me to do something and I give them the real reason I don’t want to do it and they won’t take no for an answer, I will then just try to fob them off with excuses. It’s bad, I know but if I can’t get people to accept my real reason, I try to find one they will accept.
Written by meleah rebeccah
on September 28, 2008 at 9:33 pm
Permalink

this is all good advice….thank you for this.

meleah rebeccah´s last blog post..Difficult Times Call For Drastic Measures
Written by MizFit
on September 29, 2008 at 6:18 am
Permalink

long time listener
first time caller
LOVE THE GARDEN OF SUCCESS and long for people to just say NO.
no excuses.
let me move on

MizFit´s last blog post..What? Me worry?!
Written by Poetikat
on September 29, 2008 at 10:05 am
Permalink

Valerie, I’m glad I’m not the only Postcard excuse-maker. I have so many sitting on my desk, waiting to be written, and Sandy puts me to shame – everybody does, especially since I’m the one who started the whole thing!

I love the Garden of Success.

I’ll tell you one thing: I don’t mind if people have an excuse – just be honest about it! I don’t like when people faff around and make up stuff. (Mind you, with certain people I almost feel you have to – mainly family members who wouldn’t understand).

I do agree that we make up many excuses to avoid things we fear. I’m just learning to face a few things head on – it’s tough, but also liberating…

Kat

Poetikat´s last blog post..In my dreams…
Written by Paunchiness
on September 29, 2008 at 10:24 am
Permalink

yeah I’m still worried about this bail out thing. I’m getting less and less sure I want it to pass

Paunchiness´s last blog post..Win an Apple® iPod® Shuffle
Written by Natural
on September 29, 2008 at 1:03 pm
Permalink

Parv Kaushik, confession? Self-examination? I’m trying. Thanks.

J! D!, thanks for sharing that quote. I love quotes!

Roshelle, I’m trying to plant my little garden too. If we don’t plant, how can we grow?

Lana, I agree on the ‘no’ and the wiggle out later too.

Cath, glad you liked it. The real reason doesn’t always sound nice “like because I don’t want to” just doesn’t fly. So comes the “story”. I need to make less excuses to myself.

Meleah, hugs. Thinking of you.

MizFit, I like this: long time listener, first time caller. Maybe we try to protect each other, but with no, at least we know where we stand and can plan for an alternative.

Poetikat, I need my postcard. . Write one a day. I know you are going through a difficult time right now…sometimes we can’t. I just try not to live ‘there’, in can’t world.

Pauchiness, we all should be worried about this bail out plan. Does bail out negate personal responsibility?

Natural´s last blog post..Do Excuses Negate Responsibility?
Written by Robin
on September 29, 2008 at 10:31 pm
Permalink

Hi Natural – love the garden.

I think I learned a while ago to see that when I am not doing something I intend to do, or think I should do, that I really don’t want to do it – rather then make excuses for not doing it. Then it becomes a matter of organising life so I only do things I want to do e.g. I don’t have a job to be late for – it seems to be working.

Robin´s last blog post..Ice And Global Warming
Written by meleah rebeccah
on September 29, 2008 at 11:48 pm
Permalink

right back at you doll.

meleah rebeccah´s last blog post..Difficult Times Call For Drastic Measures
Written by Eric S.
on September 30, 2008 at 6:11 pm
Permalink

Great post, thanks for sharing. I have been guilty of many of those excuses before, but have been modifying my approach to things. I love the garden, sure to grow plentiful and ripe fruits.

Eric S.´s last blog post..Grandson Returns
Written by Urban Panther
on September 30, 2008 at 9:02 pm
Permalink

I used to twist and turn with excuses. Not anymore…okay, just that little glitch with the running thing…but generally I am quite honest with myself and others now. “Nope, didn’t do it.” As for other people, please don’t give me excuses. I would much rather hear an honest “Nope, didn’t do it” than platitudes.

Urban Panther´s last blog post..Airport shenanigans
Written by Corrina
on September 30, 2008 at 10:40 pm
Permalink

That Garden of Success is pretty cool. I think I’ll copy that too.

My excuse for whatever it is I’m not doing, that I should be doing is that I’m a procrastinator. It’s a sickness. But I’m NEVER late. I don’t like waiting for people so I never make them wait for ME.

My laundry, however- is only done after I’ve been forced to spend the day naked. LOL

Corrina´s last blog post..My Hotness Is Fierce
Written by Bamboo Forest
on October 6, 2008 at 10:02 am
Permalink

“No, not everything is preventable, but some things are worth a try.”

A very compelling post. You’re right, excuses can be mere methods at avoiding what we should do.
Written by NATURAL
on October 6, 2008 at 3:20 pm
Permalink

Robin, that makes sense to me. I probably don’t WANT to do a lot of things, but unfortunately they need to be done.

Meleah, XO

Eric, most welcome. I’m guilty too, but I’m realizing that in some ways I’m holding myself back from a try and maybe even something better, success.

Urban Panther, yeah, you’re supposed to be jogging, no excuses, get out there and take the Lion with you.

Corrina, I have a book on procrastination and guess what…need I say it? LOL. I’ve been doing much better with not being late, I’m so proud of me.

Bamboo Forest, I don’t think it’s always about trying to live up to a measure of perfection or a higher standard, but instead of a cop-out out, try. Put forth an effort instead of making an excuse.
Written by Dan N
on October 7, 2008 at 4:19 pm
Permalink

Great post, I think excuses are made for lazy people who don’t want to succeed so they use an excuse to subconsciously make themselves feel better.

Dan N´s last blog post..Verizon tactics in adding services to your bill
Written by Natural
on October 7, 2008 at 7:46 pm
Permalink

Thanks Dan. It’s easy to get lazy if you always have an excuse for why you can’t do something too.

Not progressive or productive at all.