Archive for the ‘Humor’ Category
Butt-to-Gutt Ratio Gone Wild
From Blog Photos Yep, I’m back in the gym. Why? Because my butt-to-gutt ratio is in fierce competition for body dominance, whoever expands the biggest is the winner. I’m gaining weight fast and it’s not even egg nog season yet. I inhale and my butt pulls at my clothing, I exhale and my gutt snatches [...]
In: Clothing, Fitness, Health, Humor · Tagged with: Exercise, Fitness, workout
Bye-Bye Birdie
I don’t know who or what I pissed off in the animal kingdom, but I’d like to make a public apology: I’m sorry. I like birds, really I do, but outside, where the sky is the limit, not my bedroom ceiling. Last Thursday, I ran outside for a minute and when I returned to my [...]
In: Humor · Tagged with: Bird in House, Dead Bird
As Not Yet Seen On TV
If at first you don’t succeed try and try again, right? My first invention didn’t see the light of day because the concept of saving lives was a little bit too complex for the automobile industry. Fuh get ‘em, I don’t need them. I have a new invention that I am marketing and it’s called [...]
In: Humor · Tagged with: Advertising, Foam Plates, Microwave, New Product
Brain Damaged
I’m so [fill in the blank] at a loss for words, that I don’t know how to start this blog post. I purposely took a few days off from writing to deal with some other issues, but now when I look at my blog, I feel like a retina, slightly detached. I don’t have writer’s [...]
In: Humor, Walking Coma · Tagged with: Brain Damaged
The First Pancake
From Blog Photos Why does my passport and driver’s license picture always come out like the first pancake, messed tore beat *&^%$@ up! There must be some sadistic handbook circulating that says make ‘em ugly. Let them stand there long enough before you take the picture and wait until they have to scratch or have [...]
In: Humor, Photos · Tagged with: Driver's License, Pancake, Passport, Photo, Picture
