Incognito

“Blogs are great. You get to express yourself. Friends read it. Family read it. Strangers read it, and that’s okay with you. The catch is, when you blog, you create an identity but you can’t always say what’s really on your mind”,¹ without repercussion.

At the risk of sharing too much personal information via our blogs do you think it’s better to blog anonymously or at least set up an online identity, but not under your real name? I always felt like having two identities was living a double life, but now I see it as a small measure of protection.

My identity is no secret, I am Valerie Morrison, but sometimes I wish I had blogged under the cloak of anonymity. I try to keep my personal life separate from my online life, but it’s challenging and in some ways, limiting.

Now, I’m not blogging about anything here I wouldn’t want my mother to read, but my alter ego likes to write too and she has no home training. If I blogged incognito this would be a slightly different blog.  I’m not sure I would like that either. Maybe because my identity is known serves as a restraint; I have to think twice before I hit submit or publish.

While blogging can be a great outlet for keeping people up to date, receiving support from our online friends and sharing our experiences – even our secrets – we need to be careful what we put out there.

I came across this post from Judy called, I Have A Secret.  Immediately I had to stop what I was doing and read it, who doesn’t have a secret?  Judy writes:

I  have lived a “fantasy” life for over 50 years.  I have portrayed a life that I wanted people to know, not what actually was. I have kept secrets inside that I have been afraid to let out. I have struggled from day to day to not trip over the “baggage” that is my memory. I have a story to tell. It’s not pretty. It would be about my life. It would be about control, brutality, incest. I have wanted to write this story, but could never leave a hard copy around (or even in my computer) for fear someone would find it. I write it daily in my mind with tears flowing profusely. I feel a need to “let it go” by telling it. I thought my blog could be the avenue to final peace but am uncertain whether or not it would be the proper venue. I would need to do it in short, weekly segments…serial form, if you will. My family, my humor and my faith are the only things that have kept me sane. I don’t want to scare you into thinking that I am unstable; I don’t believe I am…I just have a terrible secret and I’m tired of holding it inside. I was hoping you, my readers, could help me to dissect the pros and cons of such a venture.

I tried to contact Judy to ask if I could use her post here, but I couldn’t find any contact information on her blog, so I hope she doesn’t mind.  Writing is very therapeutic, especially for me, I don’t like to share, much.  I keep my true feelings bottled up and I know that’s not healthy.  Like Judy, I could never have a hard copy of any journal or diary, but I still need to let it go.

Sharing too much information online can be risky.  I opted for a private blog, one that I only share with a few individuals, but I also have blogs that I don’t share with ANYONE.  They fulfill a need.

If you blog under your real name do you regret it or find it limiting as to what you can share?  And if you blog under a pseudonym or anonymously, what tips can you offer someone thinking of going in this direction?

Helpful Sites:

FearlessBlogging.com – Lets you post anonymously.
Hushmail – Provides private, secure free email accounts.

photo: by fatboygotsick

1. FearlessBlogging.com [↩]

Roll Call

Maybe you haven’t noticed, well of course you haven’t noticed, who looks at the address bar anymore, besides me. My blog has moved to its new domain name, ThinkingOutLoudBlog.com. It’s true, I posted a public service announcement about it last night. If you clicked over, did you notice the name, it’s different.  Please let me know that you made the transition over here safely by commenting “present” when your name is called.  (That means leave me a comment).

So on my closed blog, I said I had a very important question to ask. Here goes: “What’s your favorite word?” I stumbled upon a website that said everybody has a favorite word and I thought hey that’s true, but who ever asks that question.  Well I’m asking, what’s your favorite word. My favorite word, well I have more than one, is loquacious.  I also fancy verbose, incognito, enigmatic, inconsequential, just to name a few.  I don’t use any one of those words daily when a simpler word will do, I use them on special occasion. I like their pronunciation.

Anywho, if you subscribe to my blog, please update your RSS feed information. If you don’t subscribe to my blog, you can do so now or by email, if you prefer.  Thank you.

The $64,000 Question

I know it’s time to give up blogging when….the blogging mainstream is video blogging, I’m just not doing that.  I’ve seen quite a few video posts on people’s blog and to that I say, not me!

Several times I thought about ending my online life, but then I woke up the next day and thought: you fool!  Actually I did get rid of a few blogs I authored, but I’m not ready to give up on this one. ¹

Anywho, a big THANK YOU to everyone who left a comment and shared a thought or personal experience on my previous post.  Your comments were a big help to me and will always remain the best part of blogging.

The baby is fine, mommy is just going through the terrible twos.  So I’ll continue to be the diligent caretaker, other times I’ll allow her to take long naps and some times I’ll leave her in the capable hands of a CPR certified babysitter.²

When I was writing this post a weird crazy funny thought popped into my head about my mom and the newspaper. She reads the obituaries like it’s MySpace for the up in age, but instead of adding friends, you delete them.  I thought it would be cool if there were an online area where blogs could go to die.  We could search for blogs that suddenly disappear or when we’re ready to throw in the towel, we could submit a snapshot of our blog and onlookers could mourn in the comment section.  We could give our blogs a “proper burial” complete with obituary and all.

Photo: timstvshowcase.com

1. so you’re stuck with me [↩]
2. guest blogger [↩]

You Know It’s Time To Give Up Blogging When….

A blog can be compared to a newborn baby.  In the beginning, we’re really excited about our “baby”.  We tell everyone about the baby and where they can go¹ to see the baby.  We can’t wait to try on all the new clothes² we have just for the baby.

We love our baby so much that when we wake up in the morning, the first thing we do is check the baby for “movement”.³  Maybe we give the baby nourishment⁴ for the day to sustain it, keep it alive, as we continually check on the baby throughout the day.

Gradually the baby starts to grow⁵ and demands more and more of our time, but we don’t have the energy to take care of it.  Now the baby is crying for attention because we haven’t fed it in a while.  Instead of the once carefully prepared meals we used to provide, we find ourselves sitting in the drive-thru at the fast food chain of “I’m Not Dead” and “I’m Still Here” for a quick meal.

We still care for the baby, maybe we change a diaper here and there, but the excitement of the first born has worn off. In fact, we’re looking for a baby sitter.

Unlike real children who we are committed to for at least 18 years of our time, energy and expenses, that’s not the case with our blog.  We change as do our interests and what was once important, our baby, is no longer.

Maybe I took the scenic route to ask a simple question: Regarding your blog, do you have a gauge for calling it quits? Will you not be motivated or excited about blogging?  Maybe there’s nothing left for you to blog about or you’re not getting the response you hoped.  Maybe someone has trashed your efforts⁶ and you wake up one morning and wonder: Why am I doing this again?  Maybe none of this is the case, would you still contemplate throwing in the towel?

I won’t participate in the comment section for this post, but will be, and I am interested in, reading your thoughts.

Cartoon by Dave Walker. Find more cartoons you can freely re-use on your blog at We Blog Cartoons.

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6. your blog, your baby [↩]

Answering Comments: Obligation, Optional or Off?

I hate to “beat a dead horse”, but I see movement and would like to know your thoughts. All bloggers love receiving comments on their blog, but as a blog grows, for some, life gets in the way and responding to all comments can take a lot of time.

So what do you do, respond to some and ignore the others? Post less and spend more time interacting with your readers? It might take me a few days, but for now I like responding to each comment.

Comments are like multiple births. I have 6 of a kind, but each one is treated as an individual.

What about turning comments off for certain posts?  This is not a favorite of mine, so I won’t do it here,¹ because I don’t like the feeling of being shut out.  However, some blog posts, like this one, don’t require interaction in the comment section from the blogger. Should you let your readers know you won’t be responding?

I admit, if I leave repeated comments on a blog and the blogger never responds, I lose interest.  I like feeling that I’m talking to a person and not a wall.

How do you feel when a blogger doesn’t respond to your comment?  What if the comments are turned off, are you?  Should a blogger respond to every comment?  What’s the protocol on your blog?

I’ve shared my feelings, so I will leave the comment section open for your thoughts.

Additional Reading and Plug-ins

Is There A Such Thing As Commenters Burnout?
A.S.K. Darren Rowse: How Does a Problogger Deal With Comments
How to get more comments on your blog
Close Old Posts – Closes comments on old posts on the fly, by default it’s 14 days
Comment Time Out – Comment Timeout closes comments on old posts on your blog

1. although I did once, but that post is so buried no one will be able to find it [↩]