Are You Feeling Guilty Over Something?
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Just out of curiosity, are you feeling guilty about something right now, if so, what is it?
You don’t have to confess your sins in the comment section.1 I’m not referring to the guilt we might feel when we do something morally wrong, but just in every day life.
Here’s what I’m feeling guilty about right now:
- Spending too much time on the computer
- Not putting away the laundry and cleaning the fish tank
- Not doing a favor for someone when they asked
Bloggers. Do you feel guilty when you have not posted in days or you haven’t replied to your comments right away?
If you weren’t feeling guilty before you read this, are you feeling guilty now?
Parents. Do you feel guilty when you take “me” time instead of spending it with your kid(s). Do you feel guilty when you have to go to work or you miss the school play?
Spouses. Do you feel guilty if you spend more time with your online friends than you do with your spouse or does guilt make you feel responsible for their happiness?
You. Do you feel guilty that you’re not working on your big project or a hobby?
Guilt is everywhere, but why do we feel it and what does it really accomplish? On her website over at SelfCreation.com, Jennifer listed four reasons on why she felt guilt:
- To get herself to behave differently
- She thought good people were supposed to feel guilty
- To show others she was a good person
She said her most popular reason for guilt was to try to get herself to do something she thought she “should” be doing, or stop herself from doing something she didn’t think she “should” be doing.”
A lot of times we carry around imagined guilt, it’s only in our mind and serves no real purpose. Even now, I’m feeling guilty about this long post, but I want to share a personal experience before I go.
My daughter is not home this week and I probably won’t see her again until Friday and then she leaves for Maryland on Sunday. So I’m feeling guilty because we’re not together.
Yesterday I went out with some girlfriends and I got home earlier than I thought, so I said I would drive out to see my kid, read with her and get a hug, that I probably needed.
Well when I got to where she was, you would’ve thought I busted up her party. I didn’t get the reception I thought I deserved, it wasn’t a short drive either. 2 It was then that I stopped feeling guilty about us being apart, obviously, she’s fine with it, why wasn’t I? My guilt didn’t make her any happier, it was self-serving, to make me feel better.
I gave her a kiss, said good night and left my guilt behind. I feel less stress and guilt now. She called me this morning and said, “Hi Mom.” I said, “Who is this?” She didn’t get the joke, she answered me.3
Hey, the truth is not the only thing that will set you free! Learn to let go.
Letting Go
To let go doesn’t mean to stop caring,
it means I can’t do it for someone else.
To let go is not to cut myself off,
it’s the realization that I can’t control another.
To let go is not to enable,
but to allow learning from natural consequences.
To let go is to admit powerlessness,
which means the outcome is not in my hands.
To let go is not to try to change or blame another,
I can only change myself.
To let go is not to care for,
but to care about.
To let go is not to fix,
but to be supportive.
To let go is not to judge,
but to allow another to be a human being.
To let go is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes,
but to allow others to effect their own outcomes.
To let go is not to be protective,
but to permit another to face reality.
To let go is not to deny,
but to accept.
To let go is not to nag, scold, or argue,
but to search out my own shortcomings and to correct them.
To let go is not to adjust everything to my desires,
but to take each day as it comes.
To let go is not to criticize and regulate anyone,
but to try to become what I dream I can be.
To let go is not to regret the past,
but to grow and live for the future.
To let go is to fear less and love more.
From “The Grace Awakening” by Chuck Swindoll
Photo by Zawaj.com
- unless you want to [↩]
- I thought I was super mom making that drive [↩]
- I don’t think she’s mine, where’s her sense of humor? [↩]
In: Just Thinking · Tagged with: Guilt, Letting Go
on August 19, 2008 at 1:20 am
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Funny that you mentioned it because I did feel guilty for not posting for almost 2 weeks. And I DO feel kinda guilty for not replying to all the comments that piled up.
However, I’m considering ceasing doing that all together since I don’t have the time anymore to write my blog and keep up on the blogs I read too. I’d rather comment on YOUR blogs than my own anyway. lol
Corrina’s last blog post..Happy Monday
on August 19, 2008 at 10:52 am
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Corrina, okay well I did miss your absence. Wondered what happened to you.
Uh, don’t give up blogging. I’ve slowed down myself, nothing wrong with a time out.
on August 19, 2008 at 11:49 pm
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I feel guilty about not joining the Big Sister/Big Brother program to mentor some kid who could use a role model. I’m the perfect candidate, and I know how much it’s needed, but with all that’s going on in my life, I just don’t have the time. I would hate to commit to a kid and then find myself letting her down somewhere in the future.
The Fitness Diva’s last blog post..Mememe
on August 20, 2008 at 6:54 am
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Aw Fitness Diva..you can mentor me in fitness….
okay not what you had in mind, i still need to drop a few….
Well maybe when your schedule frees up a little you’ll be able to do something. How committed do you have to be, one day a week or more. I understand though…it’s probably better not to be there than to be inconsistent.
on August 20, 2008 at 11:47 pm
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Oh no, I won’t give up blogging- just replying to comments all the time. lol
Corrina’s last blog post..The Day After Tuesday
on August 21, 2008 at 7:10 am
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oh okay and to no surprise, i read your comment wrong. well you have to say hello to us in the comment section.
alright, good to know you’ll still be with us.
Natural’s last blog post..Is Your Subscriber Count Showing?
on January 19, 2009 at 6:09 am
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I am very sorry in to what I did and the pain wont go away cause I know what I did was very and truly wrong. What I’m really ashamed of in how I disgrace myself as a worker and for my team, myself and my family. I fully regret in what I have done and very sorry for all the trouble I cause. I felt scared and depress and felt very guilty..every night I tell myself WHY? Your not a thief your not a criminal you’re a proud little Australian who takes pride to what you do and who loves and enjoys the people around you…I put my trust in people and they put their trust in me and now that’s all been taken away on a greedy selfish act and a big mistake that I will remember for the rest of my life. I fully apologize for the people IV hurt and I know I don’t deserve a second chance for what I have done but to pray for God for forgiveness.
hey anon, i feel your pain, i really do. i put myself in a situation that i wish i could turn back the clock, but you know what. we can’t. what’s done is done, you can either keep moving forward and try to repair your relationships or you can live in the past (that will never change). sorry about your grief